I  watched Pay it Forward on MAX yesterday, with Helen Hunt, Joel Osment & Kevin Spacey. This has to have been the most intriguing, endearing & heart-wrenching movie I have seen in a long time. I have seen it before, twice, but always end up missing parts when life duties & human interactions interrupt (as is already happening again).

     I am not normally one to actually shed tears when watching movies. Not that I do not feel the emotions intended by the writers, producers & actors. I am just one who rarely cries (I did not even at both of my parents funerals). Tears did roll down my cheeks in the Olivia Hussey, Len Whiting portrayed Romeo & Juliet. Like that movie, Pay it Forward had me in tears. The difference is that in this movie, what was depicted really DID happen.

     I try to live my life in the way that the kid in the movie hoped would happen with those his project touched. But not because of the movie, or anyone else really. But because I truly hope & believe that what I do will have an effect, passing on (or as the movie calls it, paying it forward) the goodwill, generosity, love & hope to others; that maybe (very optimistic here) it will be enough to affect change in the way that this world is heading.

     Monday, while in Wal-Mart, after a bag of catfood (which they were OUT OF again!), I got into a conversation with someone buying food for his kitties. The conversation was long, involving theories of how human life evolved, particularly that of the elite (which I will not go into, because although some may have bearing, it is based in some weird ideas). Toward the end of the conversation, we were discussing the power that we all have to evoke change in those we see going down the wrong path, toward destruction (theirs or ours).

     This is what I hope for in that regard, based upon his idea. He suggested that one day, those of us who wish to evoke these changes on one specific date stop their routine for that day. He said that we should skip work, school, driving, etc. Instead, we sit, focusing White Light toward those we have most concerns about. Send them love & caring, in hopes that this will help them change for the better.

     I asked about still using the computer/Internet, because of the connections we have with generating this White Light through it. He thought that would be ok, agreeing that the Internet is a powerful people connection that we would not otherwise have.

     I know it would be asking a bit much for people to skip work. However, it would help by letting co-workers know WHY. Personally, I think a Saturday would be a good day, so that not so many would lose the income for the day so necessary to the well-being of their families. Why not Sunday, a normal day of prayer & fellowship? To make a point. No cars, remember! Leave Sunday for the normal worship that people partake in, knowing that they would continue the blessings of the White Light through the churches.

     Looking at my calendar, I think I have found the perfect day, although it is not a Saturday. Because so much of our concerns revolve around our Nation & its stance in impending war, I choose Presidents Day holiday, Monday, February 17, 2003. Because it is a holiday, many will not be out of an income for that day. It is a day when most will not have to go somewhere & most routine business will not be conducted, due to most business & government closures for the day. It is also close to the day that Shrub Jr is looking at initiating WWIII, perhaps as a single nation against Iraq & their allies.

     With a son who just recently turned 16, & the Administration wanting to reinstate the Draft, it scares me to think that we are heading into a war. He is all I have & to lose him would invalidate my life.

     I have been receiving emails & reading blogs recently about concerns for children who are heading into the Middle East. Yes, I call them children, because maturity comes much later in life than the ages of these young men & women. These are the sacrifices that we will be making, because no one comes away from war unscathed!

     It amazes me how little (nothing!) the Administration has done or is doing for our current Veterans. Now, he wants to create MORE disabled Veterans? He said the budget will not permit sending the promised money to all 50 states to finance HIS creation of the Homeland Security Agency. Funny, since he seems to be able to find the funding for WAR!?

     Remember, this is the man who authorized $300 million for Afghanistan, yet only provided $50 to the victims of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center. His budgeting seems quite biased to me, especially since he is treating our own people like shit! That is, unless they are of the rich elite group, since he wants to impose a reduction in the Capital Tax, only benefiting the corporations & rich, who barely pay any taxes as it is (probably less than 1/2 of 1% of the total income, whereas the middle-class pay about 50% of their total income!). Who will have to cover this reduction, I ask? The poor, with cuts in programs of assistance (especially health care). Also the middle-income families, who already pay more than 50% of the tax money our Treasury rakes in every year.

     So I propose that Monday, 17 February 2003 be declared White Light Day. For those of you on the other side of the International Date Line, this will be Sunday, 16 February 2003. Please join in!!! I also suggest that a White Ribbon be adopted as the symbol for this day, in remembrance of those we lost on 11 September 2001 & all those who have lost their lives in the name of war!

Daily Dose
January 24, 2003

**************************************************************

Seeing red about ketchup

It's pretty much common knowledge these days that lycopene, one of the main ingredients in tomatoes, can help protect against prostate cancer.

Now there's more evidence supporting this finding. University of Illinois researchers report that eating tomatoes, rather than taking lycopene supplements, is also a preventive against prostate cancer.

The researchers had 32 men with prostate cancer eat pasta (argh!) with 3/4 cup of tomato sauce once a day for three weeks. At the end of the study, the volunteers' levels of prostate specific antigen (PSA) went down an average of 17.5 percent and oxidative damage of the DNA in the prostate tissue was reduced.

Then comes the bad advice following the inconsequential study results (the PSA test is notoriously unreliable for measuring improvement) urging people to include more pasta dishes and pizza in their diets and to make sure there's a bottle of ketchup on the table at every meal.

The junk food captains of the world will love this advice. Commercial ketchup is junk food of the worst kind. Like all junk foods, it is loaded with sugar, our No. 1 addictive substance of abuse. And that brilliant red you see in the bottle is NOT lycopene, it's chemical and/or food coloring.

Don't put the ketchup bottle on the table; deposit it in the garbage.

You should read all "scientific" nutrition reports with extreme skepticism. And look who's picking up the tab: This study was partially funded by the company that makes Hunt's tomato sauce and ketchup.

Running over medical myths,
Dr. William Campbell Douglass II, MD

     No wonder I stopped using ketchup while still a kid! I preferred gravy on my cheeseburgers & cheese or gravy on my frenchfries. Still do!

     I'm still achy a bit & there's still alot of pressure in my right ear, as well as not having much endurance, but that will pass. Being ill like this, without knowing if it started with a virus or some bacterial agent that can be passed on to others, I continue to limit my exposure to others. Also, with my immune system compromised for now, I don't want to be exposed to another possible illness that could put me in a hospital next! It is Friday, with my usual routine of going to the VFW canteen. I have not since the first Friday of the new year!

     Some of you may be wondering  why I have not commented much lately. Besides seeming to always being behind by 3 days at least in reading my subscriptions emails, I now no longer get them! I am one of the ones that john recently commented isn't getting them, much to their chagrin. Little does he realize that my feedback emails were always sporadic in coming & stopped completely for all of my Xanga accounts several months ago.

     I have been doing research all day (almost) on what may be causing this on my end. I have learned that my primary email account (my ISP, FlexNet, who are as cheap & a thousand times more reliable than Juno or NetZero!) has recently added anti-spam software onto their email servers. Unfortunately, they don't retain the blocked emails for the customer to scan through to find out if it's truly spam, or asubscription that they HAVE subscribed to! They don't have the capability of 'white-listing' the address of the sender.

     From talking to a few others, with different email servers, I have learned they are not getting some of their important email either. In one case, I sent an email to someone, through my Incredimail email manager program from that ISP email address & it immediately bounced back to me. This happened consistently, resulting in an argument with the recipient, who would not listen to what I said about making my address ok to receive. He finally found my emails on the server in the spam folder (or however they have it set up).

     He still didn't 'white-list' my address for a few days, until he researched more about the spam-blocker at his ISP. Even then, he sent me a copy of the ISP's spam FAQ, with the info on how to remedy it, but still didn't 'white-list' me until I replied to it, remarking on the capability of 'white-listing' individuals' addresses. I had previously stated (but his point of view stayed another direction) that most spam filters have the capability of changing a previously spam-blocked email address to acceptable. I hate it when someone has their mind set on one thought, so don't hear what they are being told (at least not what is actually being said, instead hearing what they are focused on)! Did that make sense to you? It did to me, the best I can explain it at this time.

     One thing I've been avoiding in my blog postings in my stance on what is going on in the world, with the US at the forefront. I have done this in deference to a few of my since-distanced friends who did read my blogs at one time. My feelings in these matters, & the facts that led me to those conclusions, have pushed those friends away, at a time when I've needed them the most, because of so many health issues. In essence, they're still not there for me, not in much respect anyway, since I no longer can talk or chat with them openly, having to watch every word I type (I'm no longer in voice-contact with the one who had been my best friend for about 10 years IRL), even though the events are proving what I stated then as correct. Attitudes many had? 'I can't do anything about it, so I don't want to hear it' & 'You're WRONG!!!'

     Hey, Dread, are you ready to see the truth NOW, especially after saying that oil has nothing to do with the Shrubs' actions, then (early 90s), or now? After all, daddy has bailed jr out at least 3 times in the oil industry, which is a matter of public record, so should be available through your beloved Wall Street Journal archives (look back in the early to mid 80s). Why is Jr Shrub not so concerned about North Korea, who DOES have nukes & has suggested that they may sell to Iraq & is entirely anti-US? Could it be that North Korea doesn't have any viable commodities that the Shrubs want? Just what is their economy based upon anyway? I thought I knew, but that company is in South Korea (Hyundai).

      This just touches upon what I'd like to write about in a future blog. When I do, it will have a warning heading (so those of you who are dead-set against participating in the decisions our Administration is making can skip over). It will also have links to information resources that help back my stance. I've had it with the warmongering of the political elite! I'm tired of hearing about our friends & loved ones getting killed, or worse, suffering permanent body & emotional damage, serving as pawns to the rich elite in a global chess game!

A WIND ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT FOR AREAS OF ALL ISLANDS EXPOSED TO STRONG AND GUSTY SOUTHWEST WINDS UNTIL 8:00AM HST
Urgent - Weather Message National Weather Service Honolulu HI 8 PM HST Thu Jan 23 2003

...Strong Southwest Winds Over The Hawaiian Islands...

1800- Kauai-Oahu-Maui-North And East Hawaii Including Windward Kohala Hamakua Hilo And Puna-Molokai-Lanai-West Hawaii Including Leeward Kohala And Kona-South Hawaii Including Kau- 8 PM HST Thu Jan 23 2003

...A Wind Advisory Is In Effect For Areas Of All Islands Exposed To Strong And Gusty Southwest Winds... A Wind Advisory Means That Winds Of 30 To 40 Mph Are Already Occurring In Portions Of The Affected Area. Persons In These Areas Should Take Necessary Precautions To Protect Property...Such As Securing Loose Objects Or Moving Them To A Sheltered Location.

The Southwest Winds Will Be Strongest Over Mountain Ridges And Valleys...And Over Lower Elevations Downwind Or Northeast Of The Mountains.

The Strong Winds Are Ahead Of A Cold Front Approaching From The Northwest. The Front Will Move Down The Island Chain From Kauai To The Big Island Tonight And Friday. The Winds Will Decrease And Swing Out Of The Northwest Once The Front Passes By.

A High Wind Watch Remains In Effect For Kauai And Oahu Should The Winds Increase To Greater Than 40 Mph.

     Blech! I know it says that the winds are from the south, southwest, but that's NOT the case at my home! My house faces due east & these winds are coming through the window at the southeast corner of my house. It's also pushing the vog from Pu'u'o'o crater right over us. This fact is why I can't seem to get well from the flu I came down with a week ago, Sunday. I thought I was getting better, until the sneezing started in again a few days ago. I've been taking diphenhydramine (Benadryl) for that, but stopped last night, worried that not sneezing out the fluids from the allergy was causing them to stay in my head. Why?...

     Yesterday, within a half hour of posting my last blog, I felt fluid building in my right inner ear. I was also achy & soon developed a fever & chills. I was wearing velour pants & was under a sheet & Mexican acrylic woven sarape/blanket, yet I was shivering some. My son was walking around in just his shorts, staring at me. I noticed that WeatherBug (see linked blog title) indicated that the temperature was about 71° in Hilo, at the mid elevation (about the same as here), so I shouldn't have felt so cold. I don't have a thermometer (don't really need one, since I can easily tell when someone has a fever by checking their forehead with my palm or wrist as well as checking the neck area), so I have no idea how bad mine was.

     I shut off my TV about 8 PM & dozed-off. Two hours later, I woke up drenched, no longer experiencing the chills. I threw off the blanket & turned on my little fan, because I was now over warm! I also got rid of the velour pants, swapping them for ladies' drawstring boxer-style shorts. I had taken an ibuprofen just before dozing-off, but took another when I woke up.

     This morning, I called the local clinic until they finally turned on their phone system (their after-hours calls, if you stay on until their message plays through, are rerouted to an answering service). The clinic opens at 8 AM, but they don't begin answering calls until about 9. When I finally got the receptionist, I scheduled an appointment to see the doctor, at 11:30.

     The nurse who took me back to the exam room is new there. She introduced herself (I forgot her name by the time the doc came in... shame on me!) & took my temp & wrapped the blood pressure cuff on the arm I stuck out, my right arm, out of habit. I think I surprised her because she asked about doing it on that arm. I had to think about what I had done then, realizing they ordinarily take BP on the left arm. I mentioned that I had a mastectomy on the left side.

     Still having not done the BP, she started talking about breast cancer. Someone she knows had a radical mastectomy back in the early 80s, at 30-something. As the conversation continued, she mentioned that she has been putting-off getting a PAP. She's already had surgery on her cervix to remove a pre-cancerous lesion & is due for a routine exam. I told her not to wait & mentioned the herbal treatments I had used after my cancer finding. I also let her know that I recently had the complete hysterectomy & oophorectomy, removed vaginally. I think she is afraid of them finding cancer with her & wants to learn what she can before that is the case. I cannot blame her.

     We also discussed how painful the surgeries were & about reconstructive breast surgery. Apparently she knows of a woman considering having that done. To me, it is too much trauma for vanity's sake. When she finally finished up the vitals, she gave me a hug before going out of the room.

From Valley View, OH your neighbor Todd H. offers: "If you have ants in your kitchen or on your counters, sprinkle ground cinnamon as a barrier at the ant's entrance point. The ants will hot foot it in the other direction."

 

     Here we go again with high winds. But my weather alert program hasn't included an advisory for that; only for the high surf. I've already had three dead limbs fall on my roof, yet there is very little tree stuff hanging over my house, since I had some of the ohia lehua & sarcopia removed that overhung the roof about a year ago.

     In fact, I had a tree-trimmer out here yesterday. For $25, he removed three dead limbs that were either threatening my phone & power lines, or my old carport & my car when it's parked in my driveway. I mentioned them in my last blog. I think that was a fair price to pay for the guy's hour & my peace of mind! I had already begged my son to help me take them down, but he gave me his usual grunt of a reply, meaning 'Nope... I'd rather play Nintendo & skateboard!' So he lost out on the money I paid to this guy.

     I've yet to find out how big the branches were that did fall on my roof, but the other smaller dead limbs I still have a concern about are still attached to the tree. What landed on my roof probably weren't big at all. They just sound that way, because I have no insulating ceiling. A branch weighing only a few ounces sounds like a huge limb!

     It was my son's 16th birthday a couple days ago. Fortunately, he had the day off from school for the holiday. I had gone into labor when the holiday occurred on Martin Luther King's actual birthday. What a way to spend a holiday from work while in the Navy, being in labor for just over 24 hours!

     I had already given my son a couple things for his birthday earlier. He got $55 cash to purchase another X-Box game (he got the system for Christmas) & a satellite receiver for his room. That way, he isn't coming out to the living room whenever I'm not sitting here & switching my TV to MTV or another music video channel. I couldn't even take a nature call without that happening sometimes! Also when he does that, he takes over my computer. Especially if I'm online, because his doesn't have a CD-RW drive, so he cannot make CDs from downloaded music.

     Speaking of which, my hard drive is just under 4 gig of being full. It's about time I use the CD writer to unload excess stuff before it decides to crash! As full as it is, the defrag program in Windows is close to being where it cannot defrag my hard disk (rewrites the data, moving files so that the computer works at optimum & freeing up previously used space from deleted files).

     I heard from john about my lack of subscription emails. He's aware that there are still some of us who aren't getting them & is working on the issue. He mentioned that he has about 100 emails to go through concerning Xanga, which doesn't surprise me. Frankly, I wouldn't want his job! And to think, he doesn't get paid to do that! Blessings, John, etal, for all you do for us!

     After just beginning to feel like the flu was going away, I started to feel bad again, with the achy muscles, fever & head pressure. I'm doing ok, though, not feeling as bad as the last time. I think some of it is coming from the fact that I was still sick & the vog has gotten bad again. Instead of blue sky, it has a tinge of cream color to it. This has been causing me to sneeze alot, so through my illness, I have gone through 2 boxes of tissues & am halfway through a third! I hope for a return of the Trade Winds soon, as well as the rain showers they bring, cleansing the air. Those who live on the Kona side of the island have to deal with the vog alot more than we do who live a stone's throw from its source!

     By the way, have any of you been catching the current 'Celebrity Mole Hawaii' episodes? Until they started showing them, I had NO idea that these wonderful actors were here on this island! This morning, when I drove my son to school, I glanced at the driver of a car at a stop sign, waiting to turn onto the road behind me. He looked suspiciously like Stephen Baldwin! Hmmm... With his personality, it wouldn't surprise me that he would enjoy the near anonymity experienced here, especially in lower Puna. Perhaps he has a friend living here? Even if it wasn't him, it's cool to think that maybe some of them are still here, enjoying the laid-back atmosphere of this island while awaiting another job prospect!

Impatiens

Non Precipitation Advisory
 
HIGH WIND WARNING
UNTIL 12 AM HST THURSDAY FOR THE FOLLOWING AREAS
Urgent - Weather Message... Corrected National Weather Service Honolulu HI 245 PM HST Wed Jan 15 2003

Corrected Threshold For High Wind Warning In Lowlands To 40 Mph From 45 Mph

... Damaging Winds In The Puna District Of The Big Island... *(Where I live!)*

1000 - 245 PM HST Wed Jan 15 2003 Puna -

... High Wind Warning Until 12 AM HST Thursday For The Following Areas... Puna District Of The Big Island Of Hawaii.

A High Wind Warning Means That Winds In Excess Of 40 Mph Are Occurring. Take Necessary Precautions To Protect Property. Tie Down Or Move Loose Objects To A Sheltered Location.

The National Weather Service Voluntary Spotter In The Puna District Near Pahoa Reports Very Strong And Damaging Winds With Trees Down And Power Out. *(We lost power at my house TWICE, the first time for 3 hours, the second for about 35 minutes, about 1.75 hours after it was first restored, just as I was cooking supper!)* Strong Winds Are Expected To Continue With Gusts In The 50 To 70 Mph Range Through The Remainder Of This Afternoon And Part Of Tonight.

     This was Wednesday evening, once I got power back. The high winds that we were warned about Tuesday evening finally hit the Big Island about noon. I was still in Hilo when they started blowing.

     I was in Hilo to have an abdominal ultrasound done. The VA doctor was concerned about my gallbladder, since that was what she localized my pain symptoms to. I had the ultrasound done at the same imaging center that has been taking care of all my breast cancer imaging as well as that of my pelvis, which led to my hysterectomy & oophorectomy.

     I had a technician I have never had before. She & I talked a bit about gallbladders while she was examining mine (as well as my liver & kidneys). She had hers removed, the old way, leaving a large scar (same as my sister had). I mentioned learning on Discovery Health channel that gallbladder stones are formed by improper diet. This unhealthy diet is one that is loaded with carbohydrates & lacking adequate proteins. They called it 'the poor man's diet.' Another good reason to limit starchy foods.

     She took the images to the radiologist, leaving me waiting in case she needed to redo any for him. When she came back, she said we were finished, so I asked about how long it would be before I got the results. She told me that they would send them to my doctor. What I thought at that time must have shown on my face, because my next appointment with the VA doctor who ordered the ultrasound isn't until April. She quietly told me that there wasn't anything abnormal, mentioning for me not to let anyone know she told me. They often know better than the doctors what they are looking at, or they could not be good techs.

     More & more, I'm thinking that alot of what's going on with my health has to do with my fibromyalgia. She had no explanation for why I've been experiencing the localized pains in my abdomen, even though she accurately found the spots. I have also been experiencing alot of other localized sore points elsewhere on my body, like on my legs, where my kitties step when they want to lay with me at night. They invariably step on just the wrong spot, when an inch further wouldn't bother me at all!

     The winds had died during the night & hadn't returned Thursday morning... until about 10:15. Within 15 minutes, we lost power again! It was out for about 3.5 hours this time. I was the first to call the electric company with the report of the outage. I was in the middle of watching the Cuban Missile Crisis program on Discovery's History Channel. I wanted to learn the truth about what happened, rather than the BS the history texts put out.

     Ok, so with what I was doing placed on hold until the power would be restored, I went outside. Even with the winds occasionally blowing into my windows, my house was getting a tad bit too warm. I decided that I should put in some time on my yard.

     I grabbed my sickle & started in on the monstrous task of the road-frontage. The community is supposed to mow the roadways of the private (non-county) roads. Unfortunately, back some time ago, our board president fired ALL the maintenance crew! Actually, they should have been fired ages ago, because they were abusing their positions by acquiring junked cars, stripping them & selling the parts. They were also using association equipment to do work for private residents on association time & charging the residents for the work, putting the money in their own pockets. Basically, they were doing everything that the president had accused the former crew of doing when I worked with them (which they had NOT!!!).

     I had set a goal of cutting the area between my driveway & my rock wall steps. This was a slow process, because I would get tired quickly. At least I wore gloves this time, so I didn't tear up my hands like I usually do. But this made a problem holding the sickle properly. Even with the 'pimples' on the grip areas of the gloves, the handle would slide & turn, making for more strain, trying to hold tightly to the handle.

     I alternated between sickling & raking, building a few large piles of my cuttings. About the time I was finishing up, I noticed that the equipment engine sounds I was hearing for the past half hour or so belonged to the community mower. They were cutting the road frontages several blocks below me. FIGURES!!! Just when I set to work doing what they are supposed to take care of, along they come!

     I set about moving my piles of cuttings, knowing that if I left them where they were, the guy mowing would just drive around, leaving my area uncut at all! If there wasn't so much, I would have been able to leave the cuttings right where they fell & the mower would have done a great job mulching them!

     I checked on their work. Pretty good. Except where I hadn't yanked the stuff away from my rock wall yet. In that area, the mower was a foot away from my wall. I'm too achy right now to finish that. The cuttings from the mower also spilled into the road, so I need to rake that away. I had also cleaned some of the stuff away that was encroaching on the road surface, but there is still more of that to do.

     It's another bright, sunny & windy day, although the winds aren't nearly as bad as they have been. We still have high wind warnings for the summits of Mauna Kea & Mauna Loa. The vog (volcanic smog) has also been quite bad in Puna & Hilo lately, making many people & animals sick. Normally, even as close as we are to the eruption, we don't get the smog because of the Trade Winds, which blow the vog off the island to the south. The Kona side gets more vog than we do, since the Trades come from the east (mostly the north, northeast). When the winds come from the south, southeast, we get vog. This comes up in the winter, which seems backwards to me, getting winds from the north for most of the year.

     Boy, am I ever slow to get this latest blog up to par! Sidetracked, as usual, what with finally being able to talk/chat to my sister & a friend for the first time in months! I don't seem to be capable of doing more than one thing at a time anymore. If I'm text-chatting, I can't read or write anywhere else. If I'm in a voice-chat, I'm usually surfing along with my chat partner.

     Again today (Saturday), the winds picked up for a time. While sitting here, reading the Xanga subs email that I got 5 days behind on (yeowch!), I heard the start of falling timber. I also heard what sounded like a heavily leafed branch hit a roof. When I went outside to find the source, I climbed up on top of my car for a better vantage, but saw nothing out of place on or around the house. I got down & stood, turning around & around, trying to find the source of the noise I heard.

     I kept staring at a branch that travels mostly horizontally that starts about 6 feet up the trunk of probably the oldest ohia lehua tree in my subdivision. It looked odd somehow. Then, I noticed that it was dead, when I know it hadn't been when a Hawaiian hawk used to sit on it a couple years ago. Looking more carefully at the place it connects with the main trunk, I noticed evidence that its positioning has recently changed. I found the source of my noise. I followed the limb to where it rubbed up against another ohia tree & saw that it had dropped about 2 feet from where it rubbed the bark off the other tree.

     I mentioned to my son that I'm going to need his help trimming dead branches off another ohia, which are threatening my phone & electric lines to the house. I now have another limb to add to that project. This one could possibly crush my old carport roof & even roll off onto my car! I am almost ready to remove ALL the ohia from my yard, since they are very brittle & dump leaves, flower strands & seedpods about 3 times a year.

     They are an endemic species, originating here in Hawaii & not brought in, so cutting them almost seems sacreligious. But these are the common red-flowered ones & have caused enough damage & headaches. I WON'T cut down the very ancient one, though, unless it decides to die. for those of you familiar with liveoak trees, imagine one about 400 years old. My ohia is about that size & shape. The limbs are as brittle as the liveoak's too.

 

     On a sad note, we have lost another great actor to cancer today (Saturday). Richard Crenna succombed to pancreatic cancer at age 75.

     It is interesting to note that when I performed a search on MSN to get a pic & background information on him, I found that the VA website has a bio on him, from when he paid tribute to hospitalized Veterans in 2000. He was an enlisted radio operator during WWII in the US Army Signal Corps, so another WWII Veteran has passed on.

     I enjoyed watching him portraying the role of Lt. Frank Janek in several TV movies. He will be sorely missed in his last role on Judging Amy, where he was to marry Amy's mom (played by Tyne Daly). His acting style, so calm & centered, endeared him to me. Au revoir, Richard!

     It is odd to think that this area can suffer from drought. But that's what was happening recently. We have had no measurable precipitation yet this year, from about Christmas, until Saturday. I have been watering plants every few days that are in pots & watching my abundance of impatiens wilt badly.

     In my yard, the impatiens are actually weeds, having volunteered themselves onto about a third of my property. I have nearly every color imaginable, even one I call a peppermint candy color & a pure white! I snap-prune them back along my driveway, trying to force them to be more compact (they get 2-3 feet tall at times!). Then I get mad, because they encroach on my driveway & begin to smother my other desired plants, so I start yanking, tossing them in a heap. They make good soil very quickly.

     Impatiens are so prolific that they turn up in the crotches of my trees. I even have them turn up en masse on my old carport roof (the former owner used that as a shelter when they were building the house)! It's hard to think of them as weeds, knowing that even here at our local Wal-Mart, people actually buy them. It is also difficult to think of them as weeds because of their pretty flowers, especially since they are nearly always in bloom.

     But, they do spread by both seed (the pod explodes when ripe, at the least touch... something I loved to play with as a kid ) & generating roots at notches in their stems when they fall over from being too 'leggy.' This means that they can be easily grown from cuttings & will frequently re-establish themselves when pulled out. They don't require much soil at all (& do exceptionally well with leaf mulch), but they do love water! I consider them in the class of succulents because of their high water volume. Even when they wilt badly, all they need is shade from the sun & humidity in the air or dew to recover, until they are beat by direct sunlight again.

     Yesterday, I put in a couple more hours on my yard. The dumb thing is that I went outside to get my fresh cigarette pack I had left in the car after taking my son to the Farmers Market & then town, for skating. But, the cigarettes remained in the car, because I forgot that one task that took me outside to begin with.

     I had another small task that did get accomplished that I meant to do as well. I took a garden shear to snip a couple pieces of hapuu (tree fern) trunk & fiber to use as a planting medium for cuttings off a new orchid I bought at the market. It's an epi, with tiny tri-colored blossoms of white, brown & yellow. The plant that I bought  is really a piece of an ohia branch that is loaded with the small orchids. The guy I bought it from & his wife said that he had originally affixed the orchid to the live tree & the orchid took off. Recently, a branch broke off that was loaded with the orchids & they are now in bloom (annual).

     He made several plants out of the broken branch & I chose one yesterday. I sat here, staring at the plant, noticing all the hundreds of individual sections & decided that I would make cuttings of it to attach to trees, leaving the original in the pot, so I can enjoy it in the house. I may even send some new starts to my sister & brother on the Mainland as gifts. The vendor promised to find out what species they are & let me know next Sunday. At the time I bought the plant, they couldn't remember.

     I am an orchid freak. I just wish that I could afford some of the more beautiful ones (I adore catalayas, but they're the most expensive) & a proper greenhouse & tables for them, so I can propagate them. My oldest brother used to be an orchid enthusiast as a teen, having an entire greenhouse filled with them & my dad's anthurium propagations. My dad studied horticulture in college (more arboreolist, though, focusing on trees). My brother studied forestry for the 2 years he attended college. See where I get my love of plants from, so live in a jungle?

     Incidentally, my father was named in the 1965 Who's Who in the West for his conservation & forestry efforts. He was also a world forestry consultant during that time & traveled to Australia, as well as many regions of the Mainland US (including Oregon, California & Washington State) in his consulting aspects. Besides conservation, he was a logger & lumberman, who practiced his belief in 'cut one tree, plant THREE!' What loggers in those areas have done since his death would probably have my dad rolling constantly in his grave, except that he was cremated & his ashes are in an urn in a mausoleum here, alongside my mom's urn. (They both died in Texas.)

     I called my mechanic friend a few days ago to find out when he will work on my car. That, he is avoiding, as usual. He made excuses about buying another broken Nissan that he plans to fix & sell, so doesn't have time to help me (again). I agreed to the amount he wanted to charge to do the work, so I have no idea why he's being evasive. It would mean $200 for a morning's worth of work.

     I finally confronted him about his attitude about helping me when I ask. I told him he hasn't been much of a friend in this respect. I had tasked him with finding a decent car TWICE when I had no wheels. At the time, he'd buy a clunker, fix it up & sell it to someone at a 200+% profit, knowing that I had no transportation & couldn't afford the price he was asking. He'd buy a car for under $200, put about $200 worth of parts in it, along with his time, & sell the car for $2500! I'd offered him $1500, knowing that he would still be making a reasonable profit, but that wasn't good enough for him. Then he has the gall to complain about the amount I paid for the Toyota I bought from a used car dealer ($2250, including tax, license, etc)! At his price, I'd still be responsible for the other costs of registering a car.

     When will I learn that others have no real concern for my needs or well-being, unless it suits THEIR purposes?

     I also had another motive for calling him. After what he told me about his sister's thoughts about their mom not making it to the New Year, I was hoping that she did. I also hoped that he had taken the time to go see her. She did make it to the New Year, but passed at 7:11 last Sunday morning. The time is quite ironic, I think (& so did he). Now, every time he stops in a 7-11 or catches one of their commercials, it will most likely cause him to think of his mom's death.

     He did go to Kawaihai to visit with her around Christmas & again for New Year's. She wasn't lucid either time, but I'm sure she knew he was there. Winnie, Blessings to you! I wish we had met.

     Yeah, it was probably rude of me to confront him about his lack of help at that particular time. But he HAD promised to call me back later the day I asked him to fix my car & never did. I had originally called him two weeks before, so I gave him plenty of time to return the call. He also has a grudge about me not paying him for some work he did to my Volvo a couple years ago. I had gotten permission for the VA to pay for the repair. He was responsible for generating a bill, which he never did. Without that piece of paper, I couldn't get the VA to pay for his work, even though they did buy some of the parts used. There were also things I had done for him in trade for part of the cost of the repair, which he conveniently dismissed.

     Anyway, Eric, you know what you did & didn't do of what you promised. I guess I should learn not to trust a drunk, who's snockered by 6 PM.

     My doctor appointments Thursday went ok. I was supposed to see the ortho doc first, but the nurse said she already got in trouble with the shrink for causing one of his appointments to be late, & he was the next I was to see. So, she swapped them around on me. I was surprised, since he had called in another patient just after I got there. As soon as I was finished with him, the nurse called me over for the ortho doc.

     I told my psychiatrist about stopping the Mirtazapine & alternating the Prozac & Zoloft, to wean off all of them. He thought that wasn't a good idea, based upon the years of depression I have had. I told him I wanted to go back to my herbal tea remedy. He commented that he didn't think the herbals are that effective. I mentioned my concerns about long-term affects of the anti-depressants. He said that they aren't known to have any, so I mentioned that Zoloft is still fairly new on the market, so they don't have data from long-term studies. I know how long it's been around, since I was put on it when it first came out for general use (1990?).

     They still don't acknowledge that it has withdrawal effects, so IS habit-forming, contrary to their ad on TV. I call the feeling a 'winking-effect.' It is a delayed sensation of movements, like there is a fraction of a second delay in the brain of the signal that says 'I turned my head,' etc. Some say it feels like a mild shock. No shock, just delayed sensations. Fortunately, I haven't noticed as much of that as I had expected. The only time I did was the evening that I got sick. I'm still taking 50mg every other day. My doctor did think it'd be ok to stop the Zoloft, but wants me to at least continue the Prozac.

     I mentioned that I applied for Social Security. He already knew that, because he already responded about 2 weeks ago, recommending that they give it to me. The SSA here is alot faster at making determinations than the VA. They say the time-frame is approximately 3-4 months on average. *Fingers crossed!* We also discussed the VA adjudication situation. He recommended that I withdraw the radiation exposure at this time, knowing that it complicates their process. He thinks that just my depression/PTSD is enough for them to grant me at least 50%. Augmented by SS Disability & SSI, it would be a big help financially. It would also mean that the VA would be totally responsible for my health care, rather than going through the BS of my providers billing the VA first, getting the denial, then submitting that denial along with the bill to Medicaid, for payment. I continue to have problems in that regard with anything dealing with the radiologists & my oncologist, who are non-VA providers.

     One drawback to that would be that my health care needs would be delayed, knowing how long it takes them to process requests to see specialists. As an example of that, when I was at the VA clinic yesterday, the LVN who handles those called me to her window when I first came in. She mentioned that she had gotten an approval for me to have 4 more physical therapy treatments for my shoulder. I took the opportunity to ask her if anything came through about the requests for urology & the abdominal ultrasound. Nothing had, she said. Before I left the clinic, she handed me the PT authorization AND the authorization for the abdominal ultrasound.

     That latter could have been taken care of the last time I was at the clinic (& probably was supposed to have been, since I had the doctor's request then that I handed straight to her & will be handled in the imaging clinic right next door). The doctor is concerned about my gall bladder, when her poking & prodding last visit pointed out the gall bladder as the culprit of some localized pain. She had remarked something about my CBC results, asking about my BMs, but with the anti-depressants that cause constipation & the fibromyalgia that causes spastic colon, I thought nothing of it.

     Something I recently caught while watching a medical show is that what contributes to gall stones is high carbohydrate (starches) & low protein intake. What's called a 'poor man's diet.' That makes me think about my sister having had her gall bladder removed due to stones. She had been eating mostly baked potatoes or macaroni & cheese as her entire mid-day meal for a long time. This is also about the time that her weight began to explode (she easily weighs over 200 pounds, the last I knew).

     She's only a half inch taller than I am, but has always been heavier than me. But when I stepped on the scale at the clinic, I weighed 179.7 pounds (same as last time my shrink weighed me)! For me, that's 45 pounds overweight. Through standards set by health authorities, that puts me in the category of obese. Yipes! That's only 1/3rd over my optimal weight. How can people who are double their optimal weight manage? When did they change to consider those of us at 30% overweight as obese?

     Well, the evening I turned up sick, I started to feel better. My fever reduced & the muscle aches diminished, especially after taking ibuprofen 400mg. I ate half of that can of soup, but as a perfectionist Virgo, I had to enhance the soup. It tasted ok, but lacked any veggies, so I added fresh broccoli stems, garlic powder, oregano & parsley. When I finished the can the next day, I also added a fresh carrot. I don't know how food manufacturers can make the claim that their product is 'just like home-made.' It is far from that, unless you've never eaten real home-made stuff.

     I also drank several citrus Hansen's sodas & my current tea blend (green, orange-peko, triple ginseng, Earl Grey & awa & mamaki leaves). As they say, fluids & rest, & plenty of both. The latter, I had a hard time with, though, due to no longer taking that sleep-aid anti-depressant, as well as all the trips to the bathroom to pee.

     I also warmed up enough that I didn't need to remain swaddled, & even turned my fan on when a hot-flash kicked in. *Sigh* I wish those would go away. I could be ingesting lots of phytoestrogens, but that would just delay the end of the hot-flashes. I do make sure I get more soy products, just so that the incidents aren't so bad that I'm soaked (like I was at the airport, when on my way to see my surgeon for my follow-up at Tripler).

     The next morning, I felt ok enough that I could have driven my son to school... if he'd gotten up when I hollered at him. He forgot to turn on his alarm & I wasn't about to with mine, as sick as I had felt. He definitely has 'Monday-itis.' I'm no better, however, with my depression.

     I did go outside & spontaneously pruned my night-blooming jasmine (which was LOADED in blossoms!). I used to have a full hedge of jasmine, but the smell from hundreds of thousands of heady blossoms was making me sick to my stomach. I fought the hedge for 3 years, whacking it back & snapping off blossom-laden branches, trying to keep it in check. I finally gave up & had 2 brothers remove them all, meaning to sell (or give) the established plants to whoever would want them. They took one. The rest sat in my old driveway, some dying while others began to take root again. Most are gone now, with my stomping on them or yanking them up & turning them roots-up.

     The one I worked on Monday is a separate plant, at the end of my new driveway under a giant Ohia Lehua. I have butchered it down to 2 feet in height in the past. What I dealt with on Monday was as much as 10 feet tall. I stood on the hood of my car to get to those rear branches. The bad thing about the location of this bush is that it is south of my livingroom window. Recently, the Trade-Winds were replaced with breezes from the south, south-east. Uck! A few blossoms are ok... that bush was full of trumpeting star-like blooms!

     I also got ambitious enough to later pull weeds near my rock wall & steps in the front of the yard. I worked at avoiding the lilikoi (passion fruit) vine that spontaneously established itself right next to the steps. But it was choking EVERYTHING near it (except those plants that enjoyed the extra shade in the sunniest spot of my yard). I gave up on the vine & started yanking it out of the plants that I want there. Those include a gorgeous podocarpus,(which I topped a couple years ago), my awa (kava-kava) plants, Hawaiian hibiscus (ilima), joy weed, fringe flower, lime, malabar chestnuts, patchouli, Surinam cherry, poha berry, cigar flower & a variegated ti (tri-color white, green & red).

     As I worked, pulling & untangling that vine from everything else, I thought to myself that I probably shouldn't be doing so much. I figured that it would cause a relapse of the flu of sorts. I must have spent 3 hours on the yard, looking at the size & numbers of piles of discarded plant materials. There is enough to fill at least 4 good-sized wheelbarrows. I still need to do something with the refuse (I could really use a mulcher!). The problem is that, as an environmentalist, I cannot throw stuff like this into landfills, knowing that it quickly fills them up & the plant matter is better put to use as food (& soon soil) for those plants I wish to promote & propagate.

     As I mentioned, I overworked myself. In the evening, I began to feel punk again. My fever came back, along with chills. My head suddenly stopped-up, making it difficult to breathe. I flipped from one side to the other & onto my back, chasing the plugged sinus from one to the other. Only rarely were both clear, & only for about 10 minutes. I was also tired enough to fall asleep early, but couldn't due to the stuffiness & my critters. My oldest (neutered) tom kept insisting on plopping on my chest, with his face in mine.

     I hate ANYTHING in my face! I feel as though I am suffocating if I cover my face with the bedding. I do not tolerate a dog's wet kiss (I've stuck out my hand as they would jump up at my face, which would cause them to bash their muzzles). I have NO idea why this bothers me so much either. I can't wear dust masks either, like I was required to when I was on paper-mulching duty at my first permanent duty station. I'd wear it for about 5-10 minutes, then have to leave the enclosure so that I could remove the mask & breathe fresh air. I also cannot sleep in a house that is totally closed up, even in the dead of winter! I need my fresh air!

     I cannot understand how some can sleep with their faces covered. My son is like that. He definitely doesn't get that from me! I peek into his room to find him all wrapped up in a sheet or blanket, no part of his body visible (except the occasional foot). He looks like a giant green, white & black-striped cocoon! But then, this is the kid who would play or sing himself to sleep (trying to stay awake), often on the couch & occasionally slipped off the couch, head-first into a laundry basket or onto the floor! He'd also fall asleep in the car nearly every time we drove somewhere (until his teens). Sometimes, he still does.

     As for how I felt today (Tuesday)... I did take my son to school & tried to go back to sleep when I got back. No such luck. Besides the stuffiness, I have spent the day sneezing HARD (enough to blow someone else's eardrums out ) & have started coughing. This afternoon, these both have become very painful in my upper diaphragm (near the breastbone/sternum). I'm weak again & feel punk all over.

     When I went into town to pick up the kid after school, I ended up going into 3 stores, looking for something quick-fix for my supper that would be helpful for my cold/flu (& getting a pizza for the kid). I settled this time on a can of Campbell's Chunky Chicken Noodle soup, at $3.19 from the 7-11, since store shelves seem rather barren of most of this type of food. Yeowch! I'm too sick to drive to Hilo for the decent prices, besides the gas it would cost for the trip (1.5 gals @ $1.799/gal). I thought price-gouging is illegal?

     At the health food store, I picked up a quart each of R.W. Knudsen Family's Mega Green & Lemon Ginger Echinacea drinks. I drank 1/3rd of each, maintaining my increased fluid intake. These both have good nutritional & health-promoting ingredients & lack corn syrup as a sweetener (the fruit juice they contain are sweet enough!). I'm thinking about mixing the two together. The ginger burns my throat & mixing it with the spirolina/greens drink should mellow that out a bit.

     I wish that this flu hadn't progressed. I thought, when I was feeling so much better & worked in the yard, that maybe someone had said some prayers for me or sent me some White Light which had worked. I guess it's just that flu is flu, & has to run its course. Which, for me, means I'll be sick for at least a week with the head cold part. Apparently, the influenza shot I got last month had the wrong bug in it.