January 11, 2003

•      My doctor appointments Thursday went ok. I was supposed to see the ortho doc first, but the nurse said she already got in trouble with the shrink for causing one of his appointments to be late, & he was the next I was to see. So, she swapped them around on me. I was surprised, since he had called in another patient just after I got there. As soon as I was finished with him, the nurse called me over for the ortho doc.

  
  

       I told my psychiatrist about stopping the Mirtazapine & alternating the Prozac & Zoloft, to wean off all of them. He thought that wasn't a good idea, based upon the years of depression I have had. I told him I wanted to go back to my herbal tea remedy. He commented that he didn't think the herbals are that effective. I mentioned my concerns about long-term affects of the anti-depressants. He said that they aren't known to have any, so I mentioned that Zoloft is still fairly new on the market, so they don't have data from long-term studies. I know how long it's been around, since I was put on it when it first came out for general use (1990?).

  
  

       They still don't acknowledge that it has withdrawal effects, so IS habit-forming, contrary to their ad on TV. I call the feeling a 'winking-effect.' It is a delayed sensation of movements, like there is a fraction of a second delay in the brain of the signal that says 'I turned my head,' etc. Some say it feels like a mild shock. No shock, just delayed sensations. Fortunately, I haven't noticed as much of that as I had expected. The only time I did was the evening that I got sick. I'm still taking 50mg every other day. My doctor did think it'd be ok to stop the Zoloft, but wants me to at least continue the Prozac.

  
  

       I mentioned that I applied for Social Security. He already knew that, because he already responded about 2 weeks ago, recommending that they give it to me. The SSA here is alot faster at making determinations than the VA. They say the time-frame is approximately 3-4 months on average. *Fingers crossed!* We also discussed the VA adjudication situation. He recommended that I withdraw the radiation exposure at this time, knowing that it complicates their process. He thinks that just my depression/PTSD is enough for them to grant me at least 50%. Augmented by SS Disability & SSI, it would be a big help financially. It would also mean that the VA would be totally responsible for my health care, rather than going through the BS of my providers billing the VA first, getting the denial, then submitting that denial along with the bill to Medicaid, for payment. I continue to have problems in that regard with anything dealing with the radiologists & my oncologist, who are non-VA providers.

  
  

       One drawback to that would be that my health care needs would be delayed, knowing how long it takes them to process requests to see specialists. As an example of that, when I was at the VA clinic yesterday, the LVN who handles those called me to her window when I first came in. She mentioned that she had gotten an approval for me to have 4 more physical therapy treatments for my shoulder. I took the opportunity to ask her if anything came through about the requests for urology & the abdominal ultrasound. Nothing had, she said. Before I left the clinic, she handed me the PT authorization AND the authorization for the abdominal ultrasound.

  
  

       That latter could have been taken care of the last time I was at the clinic (& probably was supposed to have been, since I had the doctor's request then that I handed straight to her & will be handled in the imaging clinic right next door). The doctor is concerned about my gall bladder, when her poking & prodding last visit pointed out the gall bladder as the culprit of some localized pain. She had remarked something about my CBC results, asking about my BMs, but with the anti-depressants that cause constipation & the fibromyalgia that causes spastic colon, I thought nothing of it.

  
  

       Something I recently caught while watching a medical show is that what contributes to gall stones is high carbohydrate (starches) & low protein intake. What's called a 'poor man's diet.' That makes me think about my sister having had her gall bladder removed due to stones. She had been eating mostly baked potatoes or macaroni & cheese as her entire mid-day meal for a long time. This is also about the time that her weight began to explode (she easily weighs over 200 pounds, the last I knew).

  
  

       She's only a half inch taller than I am, but has always been heavier than me. But when I stepped on the scale at the clinic, I weighed 179.7 pounds (same as last time my shrink weighed me)! For me, that's 45 pounds overweight. Through standards set by health authorities, that puts me in the category of obese. Yipes! That's only 1/3rd over my optimal weight. How can people who are double their optimal weight manage? When did they change to consider those of us at 30% overweight as obese?

  
  

  
  

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       Yesterday, I called the VA Voc Rehab counselor in Honolulu to find out what is going on with the request for my computer. The consultant sent her the email with the order specifications 8 November 2002. It is now 2 months later & I havn't gotten anything back in response regarding the 3 price quotes required when the purchase amount is over $2.5k (it's a professional system,  with specific soft & hardware needed for intensive graphics work). She didn't even put out the bid request, thinking that there was something else that was being changed with the request! Shit! When is she going to just do her job?!!

  
  

       Because she hasn't put the bid request in, she needs to talk to the consultant again. Since there have been 2 months pass since the quote on the system from Dell, it will no longer be valid, so the consultant is going to have to go through this all over again!. Once he verifies the Dell quote, he resubmits it to her, & she then passes it on for the 3 bids. The latter can easily take another 2 months. If that isn't bad enough, there is still the time factor of the consultant, who thought he had this done & is working on stuff for others! So, anyone want to guess how much longer it will be before I get my new computer from the VA? If it happens within 3 months, I will be surprised.

  
  

       Because of this delay, it is putting a serious delay in the other equipment I have already talked with the counselor about getting. For example, my digital camera & attachments, as well as a new printer/scanner/copier (business quality, for photo images).

  
  

       We had also discussed my being able to get scuba-diving equipment. I am a certified scuba diver, but haven't been in years & seriously miss it. Besides equipment, I will also need a refresher course to update my certification.

  
  

       I used to have all the necessary equipment except the tank. This meant even a prescription mask because of being near-sighted. I wouldn't want to be diving & just see a shape that I couldn't distinguish as a shark swimming near me! The surprising thing is that visual acuity is better underwater with a regular mask, so even without the prescription lenses, I can see better underwater than out of water without my glasses.

  
  

       Hmmm... diving again! Cool! I'll probably need an underwater camera then, or at least a waterproof case for the digital one I do get. This is the beautiful Pacific here, full of gorgeous marine flora & fauna. Maybe I would even be able to have a dolphin encounter to capture images of! They are here, near the shoreline close to my home.

  • 8:51 pm
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