December 31, 2002

• New Year's Resolution No-nos
  How to avoid unrealistic goals
  by Anastasia Poland

  
  

  Do you see New Year's Eve as a great time to make resolutions you will inevitably break? You're not alone. However, a University of Washington study by Elizabeth Miller and Alan Marlatt found that a full 63 percent of people do stick to their primary resolutions for at least two months. It can be done. Here are the top five reasons why we don't keep our resolutions past February:

  
  

  Reality Check 101: Unrealistic goals are a real killer for achieving change. Instead of cutting "all sugars and carbs" from your diet or deciding to "exercise every single day," consider moderation. Unless you have health constraints, an occasional carb can be a reward, especially after you've created an attainable exercise plan for your busy schedule. Also make sure the resolutions on your list are purely for you — not your partner, your family, or your friends. If you're not doing them for yourself, you won't end up doing them at all.

  
  

  No plan of attack: Being impulsive might spice up a romance, but where resolutions are concerned, less is more. Several excellent ways for "setting yourself up for resolution failure," says Marlatt, are not planning out your resolutions until the last minute or making them based on your mindset on New Year's Eve. Planning, then assessing what obstacles may inhibit your goals (e.g., you want to cut junk food from your diet, but live in a household of junk-food junkies) will help you evaluate what changes you need to make.

  
  

  K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid): What's with the 10 resolutions on that list? Take off your overachiever cape and toss it aside. Too many folks overwhelm themselves by attempting several big life changes simultaneously. Choose one or two achievable goals that introduce positive changes into your life instead of forcing yourself to quit all of your bad habits at once. The confidence you gain by following one new healthy life pattern can later be parlayed into ditching another unhealthy one. Miller found that confidence was the key underlying factor in people creating true change.

  
  

  More or less: These words are the enemies of goal attainment. More healthy, less weight? What does this mean in real terms? Those who fall off the resolution wagon often neglect to quantify goals or set deadlines. If you want to feel healthier, write a list of what that means to you (for example, attend yoga class twice weekly, add two veggies to daily diet, lose 10 pounds by March, get monthly massages) and work from there.

  
  

  If at first you don't succeed: This old axiom is so true, yet we do ourselves a great disservice by not making sure to "try, try again." If you sneak a snack, leave work early or indulge that TV craving, it doesn't mean you have to abandon your commitment. Persistence is key. Miller discovered that only 40 percent of people polled achieved their goals the first time around. Seventeen percent succeeded after more than six tries. Adds Marlatt, "It's a mistake to blame yourself if you fail. Instead, look at the barriers that were in your way. See how you can do better the next time and figure out a better plan to succeed. You do get to try again."

  
  

  Prime yourself for successful resolutions by being realistic, taking small steps, recognizing success and being flexible when you backslide. By keeping at it and not throwing in the towel the first time you skip a workout or give into a craving, you will be able to make positive changes that will last all year and beyond.
  When you make exercise fit your personality and your lifestyle, you are already on the road to success.

  
  

  

  
  

      This New Year's Eve, I will be making a few resolutions. In the past, I have not, considering (as another Xangan has already remarked) that they are nearly impossible to keep, so why disappoint myself?

  
  

       This year, I have decided to put my foot down about some of my undesirable habits. (Not the smoking, though, because that is one of those I cannot keep!) There are some behaviors that for me will be easier to stick with, once begun.

  
  

  
  
  1. 
     
     Write EVERY DAY! This is something I have done in the past, keeping a hand-written journal on & off since my teens. (Where most are now, I have no idea.) I also used to frequently write poetry, which I hope to take up again on a more regular basis. As Isaac Asimov wrote on a postcard to me, he wrote every day. Ernest Hemmingway also wrote every day, setting aside 8 hours for his writing.
     
     
  2. 
     
     Stop putting off 'til tomorrow what can be done today. I am a prize procrastinator (hence my major delay in submitting the necessary stuff to the SSA on my disabilities, as well as delays in submitting stuff the VA has requested for my VA disability rating re-evaluation; both which will get me out of the financial pit I have wallowed in for so many years).
     
     
  3. 
     
     Set up & hold to specific times to take care of certain things. These will include an hour each day for house-cleaning, another hour for yard work & about 3 hours for my writing. Maybe, after following this routine for a few months, I will get caught up with the mess my depression has left my life in. Also to add will be an hour to devote to meditating thoughts & blessings to those who have turned up in my life with health issues.
     
     
  4. 
     
     When my son was little, Friday evening was family night. I would take him out to eat at the local steak house, where I'd share the salad bar items with him. With a child that little, these restaurants didn't insist upon buying a separate meal for the toddler. He enjoyed the raw 'trees' (broccoli), carrots, bits of chicken, etc, that I would get. It's time that I set up a family time again, even if only to play board or card games, or watch a video together.
     
     
  5. 
     
     I am 45 pounds overweight, gained since my cancer diagnosis. No, I don't overeat. If you ask my son, he'd tell you I hardly eat anything. The problem is that what I do eat is full of carbohydrates. I've already proven to myself that carbohydrates are the nasties of weight gain when I set myself on a low-carb diet while in the Navy. I am very uncomfortable with my weight-gain. So I will reduce my carbohydrate intake at least by 50%.
     
     
  6. 
     
     For my last resolution, to augment the health issue, I will also walk every other day; like the 2-mile roundtrip to the community mailboxes. Perhaps I can convince my son to come with me (if he can get over his fear of being assaulted again; he won't get out of the car to get the mail if those kids are hanging at the mailboxes... I HAVE TO!).

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  Update:

  
  

    Incidentally, I believe I will do fine with these resolutions. I have already started with most, making headway on the house & yard this past week.

  
  

       I also feel alot better... more energetic & enthusiastic, since the fog of some of the antidepressants I've stopped taking has lifted. I will need to go back to making my special herbal tea again, which I stopped making (except occasionally) almost 3 years ago, hence the return to heavy drug antidepressants. At least I know my tea doesn't leave me in a fog & generates more enthusiasm & well-being!

  
  

  
  

  

  • 7:31 pm
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