I sometimes check my DISH Network guide under “All Sub” to find out if we’re getting a free preview of HBO/Showtime. Checking it Friday, I learned that not only are we getting those channels this weekend, but FLIX, SUND & TMC premier channels as well. COOL!

Ordinarily, when we get the free preview, what’s showing on those channels are lame movies, or old stuff I’ve already seen. But this time, some of the stuff they’ve shown are movies I’ve been waiting to see since they came out in the theaters. For example, “The Terminal,” with Tom Hanks, one of my favorite actors. My favorite of his is “Big.” Also shown has been “The Day After Tomorrow” with Dennis Quaid, another likeable actor. Right now, I’m watching “Man on Fire,” starring Denzel Washington. Among my favorite Black actors! Also among the latter are Whoopie Goldberg, Samuel L Jackson, Wesley Snipes & Danny Glover. I go out of my way to watch their stuff! Although I can’t say I liked Denzel’s movie “Training Day.” That movie was too… disturbing.

It’s been quite a Labor Day weekend for me. I haven’t gone anywhere since Friday, when I had to take the DAV checkbook into Hilo to pay for a member couple’s trip to Honolulu for their State Executive Meeting this week & did a little grocery shopping where my son was working at the time. Even though my son was off Saturday & today, I’ve been alone most of the time. He’s spent his off days’ daylight to evening hours skating & chilling with his friends. *SIGH*

The saddest thing for me is that after what I wrote in my last blog, he’s reversed his decision. He’s again now going away to college in Colorado. Within days of getting back together with his last girlfriend, she’s dumped him again to hook back up with the ‘bad-boy’ love interest who messed around on her & dumped her. He should have stuck by his convictions during high school when I had asked why he didn’t have a girlfriend or attend school dances. He told me, “High school relationships don’t last.” Smart kid! What he isn’t seeing now is that his 2 former girlfriends are STILL in high school, so are yet too immature for lasting relationships. My son has alot of growing up to do as well, but he’s farther along than the average male.

He’s admitted to me trying cigarettes. I’ve seen him take swallows of beer & hard liquor. But he doesn’t drink or smoke. In fact, he’s been Designated Driver for his friends lately. He watches them drink, smoke & smoke pot, but doesn’t imbibe, telling his friends that they’re fools. I hope he stays that way. In this, I’m proud of him.

I wish he would stay here for a year, going to UH Hilo, so he can help me with my house building & move into the new house. Also, it would give him the chance to build up a decent savings, so he wouldn’t be so pressured financially at the Art Institute of Colorado… an expensive school. I realize that it offers him the course work in the field he wants to get into, in a very well structured course schedule. I just wish he’d wait awhile.

The degree plan there for his field of interest is very well designed. For each semester, he takes 4 courses in his major & one in the core requirements for any college Bachelor’s Degree. He won’t be spending his first year taking mostly classes he has little interest in. How cool is that? With their curriculum, I can’t fault his desire to go there.

I just wish…

Ah… Where to begin?

I started a very long blog back in March to let my readers know of my mixed fortunes in the months just prior. It still sits there, glaring at me, posted privately. Several times, I’ve logged on with the intent to finish it & post it publicly, but with so much else having occurred since its inception, just where does one start?

My son’s Colorado girlfriend broke off with him. Yay! Once he got past the devastation, he bounced back wonderfully. It also caused him to rethink going to Colorado for college.

In February, I got a fat envelope from the VA. First thought… ‘Oh, no… they’ve already denied my claim, before I could get them testimony from people who know me!’ Once I opened it while sitting in my car in the driveway, I read monthly dollar amounts that caused me to suck in my breath. Skipping to page 2, I read 100%! I shouted, “YIPPEE!!!” more than once. The VA has seen fit to grant me 100% PERMANENT disability on my depressive disorders. This means they can’t take it away from me.

Or at least it did, until I learned at our last DAV meeting that the new VA director is trying to eliminate disability to veterans for PTSD. WTF??!! It is their thinking that PTSD is temporary. HUH? They’re NUTS!

One thing, though… My VA health records were sent to the Mainland for ‘quality review’ right after Honolulu granted me my 100%. I know this, because they had stopped my son’s entitlement upon his birthday & I had submitted the application to reinstate it, because he was still in high school & even though they had gotten it Feb 15th, they could do NOTHING until my records were returned to Honolulu. Honolulu told me why my records weren’t there. I have to assume, knowing now what the VA powers-that-be are trying to pull, that my records were pulled for that quality review because of that… primarily because of the ‘new’ finding of PTSD & because I’m female.

Nicholson, you’re an asshole! You are definitely in the Shrubs’ back pocket! You want to eliminate disability to virtually all women who’ve served with dedication! You see, Nicholson wants to disallow disability to Veterans for anything but COMBAT-related injuries! Hello?! When we wear the uniforms of the active duty military, we are military 24/7! Our behavior in & out of uniform is under scrutiny by our superiors. Should we commit a crime, even on ‘our own time,’ we can be punished under the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice)… in ADDITION to local law enforcement. “Kangaroo courts’ laws do NOT apply to military. So why shouldn’t we be entitled to disability compensation if the incident occurred ‘on our own time?’ I personally knew a woman whose husband died in a traffic accident off base & off duty who’s collecting the widow’s pension until she either remarries or dies. Why should disability be any different? As the findings statement says, “…occurs in or is aggravated by military service.” So even if the cause of a veteran’s depression was not something that occurred during duty hours, what he or she has to deal with to fulfill their duties exacerbates the depression. Depressed people become almost unable to perform their assigned tasks. What’s worse is if the depression was caused by a rape or sexual harassment from a fellow military person (even off hours) & the victim has to face that same person at work!

I am speculating that this latest is just more in the Shrub design with which he can still pursue his ‘war against terrorism’ that has NOTHING to do with terrorism… but everything to do with control over the world’s oil resources. The VA recently passed budget falls at least a $billion short of providing services to veterans at the current need & his ‘war’ is creating MORE disabled/sick/injured/depressed veterans! As a matter of fact, they’re diagnosing PTSD earlier in veterans returning from Iraq & Afghanistan! Ordinarily, this depression doesn’t show up for 10 to 20 years from the date of the incident at its root! Our VA clinic in Hilo just recently installed bullet-proof glass at the receptionist’s desk. HELLO?!

Shrub can pour $billions into his ‘war’ (which he & his cohorts are personally profiting from), yet wants to reduce benefits to those who’re giving of life &/or limb for his ‘war?’ By the way, this is STILL an illegal ‘war!’ Even though our Congress has voted to approve funding, they have still NOT voted to declare this ‘war.’ So it is un-Constitutional.

I’m crawling off my soapbox now.

Anyway, my records came back from the ‘quality review’ & my benefits have NOT been reduced or eliminated (so far). They granted the 100% rating on 9 February 2005, going back to late June of 2001. Because of the difference from 30% payment to 100% payment for all those months (years), I got a huge windfall. The first thing I did was to pay off all of my creditors & put a large sum into a 6-month CD. I also splurged & bought a 2002 Hyundai Santa Fe with cash because I was tired of being left stranded because my son kept taking my Subaru & had gotten a job at a major grocer in Hilo. I also started the proceedings to build a new house on my property. But that’s taking a long time. So many headaches & paperwork bs.

Well, in April, my son got a speeding ticket. In court, the judge wouldn’t listen to him (the cop was ahead of my son, so there was no radar & where he was supposedly speeding had a higher speed limit than the cop put… it increases from 35 to 45 to 55, going away from town). That messed up my insurance! Then in June, he totaled my Subaru! The car got sandwiched by an on-coming vehicle that swerved into my son’s lane to avoid a car in front of my son that lost control around a curve & another vehicle that was behind my son hit the back of my Subaru. WAH! That was a great car. My son had a gash on his forehead & his front seat passenger had facial contusion & an eye abrasion. I had to drive to the northern point of the island to pick him up in Waimea.

The next day, I went to the Subaru dealer & found an excellently priced 2002 Hyundai Elantra & paid cash for it. What I got from the insurance company almost paid for the Elantra. Besides my son having to learn how to drive a 5-speed standard, he seems to like it well enough.

The 2 tickets my son got from the accident (speeding & reckless driving), given as a matter of course (all got tickets), were dismissed in court. BUT, my son got another speeding ticket after the accident. Why do I have to keep repeating myself to him? I’ve told him more than once how to avoid getting speeding tickets (staying under 10 miles over the speed limit, avoiding darting in & out of traffic, not changing lanes, etc). He claims now that he’s learned his lesson. But has he? *SIGH*

He got a new girlfriend at his job. They were dating for 3 months when she broke up with him to date another guy, who dumped her in 2 weeks! Even though my son had told me he was ‘so over her,’ they’re now back together again. Last night, he went to spend the night at a church camp where she is. She’s a really sweet girl, but like all her age (17, the same as the girl in Colorado), she is flighty.  When she broke up with him, my son set his sights again on going to Colorado for school. That school is VERY expensive & the cost of living in Denver is even worse. But since they got back together again, my son gave up on going to Colorado again. He enrolled (a week late) at UH Hilo. But he’s still considering trying to find a place to live in Hilo, to save driving time & gas. Considering what it would cost him to rent an apartment ($600+), it’d be cheaper for him just to stay here… especially once the new house gets built. Since I’m going 2-storey, he’d have the first floor pretty much to himself. He’s hardly home anyway.

What’s holding up my house building plans at this time are firstly, the construction loan financial cost breakdown (currently in the hands of the contractor I’ll be using, who incidentally, is the step-dad of my son’s girlfriend) & the cash deposit to the building materials kit. I have enough cash in my accounts to pay it, but don’t want to strap myself. Once I get the bids/construction loan breakdown, I can get the loan money divvied out for each step, starting with that deposit ($30k). Unfortunately, it seems that each month that goes by, the kit manufacturer gets 3 months worth of work! The last time I talked to him, he told me that it would be January before he could get to my house if I paid him the deposit then. *SIGH* That was over a month ago.

Incidentally, I turned the ‘Big 5-0′ just 2 days ago. I don’t feel any different… yet. Also, my 4-year cancer-free anniversary came & went on 4 June 05. In 3 days, it’s the 4-year anniversary of losing my left breast.

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare!

I just received a few emails from a cousin I haven’t seen in many years. Just recently, he had asked my sister for our email addresses, knowing that this is often times an easier way to stay in contact. He is the brother of the cousin who’s the Executor of the estate of my aunt who died in August of 2003. He had spent several years on our aunt’s farm, helping with the cows & general farming.

In the first email, my cousin informed me that his sister’s son was killed in an avalanche while snowboarding in Idaho. He was one of 3 who’d gotten trapped by the avalanche, one of whom managed to get out to seek help. The other trapped young man was also found dead.

My cousin’s son is Peter Tripp. The story about the avalanche is near the bottom of the article here:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6827473/ See the lower story about the avalanche in Idaho.

No wonder I was feeling bad vibes since yesterday. I had never gotten to know Peter & hadn’t seen his mom, my cousin, in many years.

I know, I haven’t written in awhile. I’ve been in a funk again, due in part to what my friends & I saw on Christmas Day. I’ve started a piece on it, but haven’t finished it, hoping that there would be a resolution, which hasn’t come about yet. I’ll post about it eventually.

But for now, I’m going to lambaste again about forwarded emails that aren’t researched, yet presented as fact. I just got one in my Inbox that’s very heart-felt, bringing tears to the eyes of the reader. After reading it, I did a search on my favorite ‘Mythbusters’ site & found that the piece is a work of fiction.

People, when you get forwarded emails meant to scare you or touting to be something that really happened, check out the facts first, before forwarding them on & adding your name to the ‘fools list’ & perpetrating lies or propaganda! In this case, it could almost be considered plagiarism, since this story has been told by many claiming that they know the individuals in the story or have claimed it as their own writing.

Here’s Snopes.com’s page on the story:  http://www.snopes.com/glurge/teddy.htm

And the story/email, written by Elizabeth Silance Ballard Ungar:

Subject: GREAT STORY

“This work of fiction was penned by Elizabeth Silance Ballard in 1976 and published that year in Home Life magazine. The author’s intent was far from unclear — the piece was clearly marked as fiction and was presented as such, not as an account of a personal experience.” (Quoted paragraph from Snopes.com is my addition, not included in the email.)

Long but worth it,

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he Did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.

It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X’s and then putting a big “F” at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child’s past records and she put Teddy’s off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy’s first grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners… he is a joy to be around..”

His second grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.”

His third grade teacher wrote, “His mother’s death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn’t show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren’t taken.”

Teddy’s fourth grade teacher wrote, “Teddy is withdrawn and doesn’t show much interest in school. He doesn’t have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.”

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy’s. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag.

Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children’s laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, “Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.”

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson
paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded.

By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her “teacher’s pets..”

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he’d stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor’s degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer… The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson’s ear, “Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.”

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, “Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn’t know how to teach until I met you.”

(For you that don’t know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone’s heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone’s life today? tomorrow? just “do it”. Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

This is a wonderful story, with excellent moralistic points. But please, people, give credit where credit is due & understand that it’s important that it be recognized as a work of fiction, not presented as fact. The Snopes.com page about this story has wonderful information about how this story evolved. In itself, it’s worth knowing! Many here on Xanga have had issues with their works being plagiarized, so I’m sure you’d understand the value of this post.

My sister called from Seguin Texas this afternoon. Seems they got a sprinkling of snow & her son was managing to scoop up enough to throw golfball-sized snowballs at her, hitting the window she’d just closed. Where I sit, snow’s an imposibility, although our mountains certainly look pretty during the winter months (very little there right now, although Mauna Kea had snow on Halloween!)

I’ve been sitting here, bummed for the most part, watching Christmas movies today (I had the original “Miracle on 34th Street” running all night on AMC) & playing a game on my computer over & over again, trying to make Superstar ranking. I got close once. I’ve only had Superstar rank on MSN gaming zone on the jigsaw puzzle, but once you clear the cookies, your achievements are gone forever. I haven’t gotten it back yet. The game I’ve been playing today is Jewel Quest. I haven’t tried the trial full version yet. When I download them, I play them for days until I have to reboot the computer. The trial versions are limited to an hour supposedly, but if you don’t close the program, you can play them until your computer’s graphics begin to mess up or other issues arise. Running Windows XP Pro, I can run the computer continuously for days before needing to reboot.

I’m also bummed because just as I went outside to feed the dogs (my son’s chore, but since he’s in Colorado, it falls to me to do it) & drive up to the longhouse to check my mail, a friend I haven’t chatted with in a couple weeks IM’d me with a “Merry Christmas.” My timing sux! She sits on invisible, so I never know if she’s on unless she IM’s me. Lately, I’ve been sitting on invisible, forgetting to change it when I set it to invisible when I go to sleep. Yeah, I’lve been leaving my computer online most of the time. DSL connections don’t get all the crap attacks that dial up does.

I’ve been invited to go to Volcano House’s Christmas buffet with a couple lady friends from my DAV chapter. They’re also without partners. One offered to pay half of the dinner price of $35. I thought that was high (it’s for a prime rib steak & all the trimmings!) but after talking to my sister, that’s cheap. She said that her backwater town & vacinity’s been offering dinners starting at $50. Some even as much as $200/plate! I guess if you can afford that, more power to you. Those probably were benefit dinners, so most of the price would be tax-deductible.

I’ve never eaten at the Volcano House. Mind you, it’s been in business a long time & although I’d been up there with my folks, dinner was too pricey for my dad to treat the family. He did dine with out-of-town visitors (Mainland guests).

The picture to the left is one I took at Volcano House on January 2nd of this year… the last time I stopped in. It’s a root sculpture of Maddam Pele. I don’t remember what sort of wood it is, nor the name of the artist. But I do know by the style that the artist isn’t Cecil C Carstensen, who my dad shipped Hawaiian woods to & made several carvings of Pele out of roots. I wish I had one. I do have one of his pieces. My dad even shipped Carstenson part of the Monkeypod tree from Kailua-Kona planted by Mark Twain that was uprooted by a freak tornado (those don’t happen here normally!). He carved several Pele heads out of that tree’s roots.

Here’s a brief history of the Volcano House lodge/hotel, as posted on their website: 

Colorful History

The history of Volcano House can be traced back to 1824 when Chiefess Kapiolani and her entourage built a grass shack on the crater rim. Throughout history, Ancient Hawaiians came to Kilauea crater to worship the Volcano goddess Pele with offering and prayers. In an ironic twist, the first structure (a grass shack) was built on the crater rim by Chiefess Kapiolani (a Christian convert) and her entourage not to worship but rather to denounce Pele.

As in years past, people continued to be drawn to the Volcano and in 1846 Benjamin Pitman, Sr. built a grass house at the crater edge and coined the name Volcano House which has remained the name throughout the many manifest of this rustic inn. In 1866, a more substantial Volcano House was constructed made of grass and ohia poles. Mark Twain, who stayed in the hotel this same year described it as “ neat, roomy, well furnished and a well kept hotel. The surprise of finding a good hotel at such as outlandish spot startled me, considerably more than the volcano did.”

As the years progressed, Volcano House has continued to evolve and in 1877 the first wooden Volcano House was built, featuring a large parlor with a fireplace, a dining room and six bedrooms. This fireplace which is symbolic of Volcano House warm hospitality and aloha has been burned continuously for over 125 years.

In 1895, Greece-born George Lycurgus (known as Uncle George to locals) bought the hotel and his name became synonymous with Volcano House for most of the next 65 years until his death at the age of 101. In 1940 the main building of the hotel was destroyed by fire, caused by an oil burner, not Pele. Items rescued included embers of the everlasting fire from its large fireplace, the Koa piano, which is presently in our lobby, and a few art pieces.

In 1941 Uncle George rebuilt Volcano House. It was constructed of wood and stone, consisting of 30 rooms resting at the edge of the magnificent Kilauea Crater. For decades Volcano House became a popular gathering place for local residents as well as visitors. Queen Liliuokalani, Mark Twain  and President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Here’s the link to their page about their dining facilities:  http://www.volcanohousehotel.com/Dining.htm

Browse their site. It contains some interesting tidbits, like the fact that Mark Twain stayed there & that it’s the oldest hotel in the Hawaiian Islands!

I am definitely not looking forward to the next couple of weeks, along with the holiday season. I’m going to be alone for the first time in 17 years! My son is flying to Colorado for the holidays, to spend time with the girlfriend he met online. She’s undergoing exploratory knee surgery on the 28th & since my son has already been through massive surgery on his knee, he wants to be there to help her (even though I have gone through 4 surgeries & he was little, if any, help to me, especially when I asked… he wouldn’t even make a sandwich for me after my first breast surgery!).

A couple friends/DAV chapter members have already told me they don’t want me to be alone… to come spend time with them. But they have their own families/problems that arise that I don’t think much will happen. I’m not holding my breath.

I had an appointment with the psychiatric nurse practitioner on Monday I’ve been seeing since my psychiatrist ‘medically retired.’ I spend almost an hour with her… alot of it crying. I won’t be seeing her the next time, since the VA has finally hired a replacement for the one who quit (it was stress, due to the people who work in the clinic & the system itself, not the patients… I guess he followed the advice he gave me in December of 1999!). A female! And one who actually spent time counselling patients in Iraq during the Persian Gulf War!

The nurse was very concerned about my emotional state. She’s suggesting that I see the MSW with the clinic, who incidentally runs the clinic (in name only… she’s a scatterbrain who’s controlled by one RN who’s been there for many years… who, by the way, seems to like me, much to my surprise!). She also gave me the phone number to the Crisis Hotline for the State, telling me to call them if I have the need for someone to talk to during the holidays. I’m one who always feels stupid calling them. It’s not like they can really do anything to effect a positive change.

You see, I threw out a bad comment to my son in the middle of our argument about him going to Colorado. I told him that maybe it’d be better if I just wasn’t around anymore, so he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. I know that biting remark was wrong of me & dumped something on my son he doesn’t deserve. But it alludes to how I’ve been feeling alot of the time since I was first told I had cancer & an unrealistic way to cope with the disaster I see around me of our home. I’m tired of fighting… of just being alive with all that I have to deal with day-to-day. I can’t see what good I am anymore… what I contribute that’s worthy of note. It’s as I’ve mentioned here in the past… others go out of their way to make accommodations for some, but I’m always left out or pushed aside or added only as an ‘after-thought.’ I’m never another’s first thought or priority.

Don’t get me wrong… I know I’ve raised a wonderful son. He’s just not much of a help for me. We’re also having arguments about college. I had hoped that in our discussions I’d convince him about how important some things are when becoming an adult, avoiding the prospect of him having to learn things the hard way. It isn’t working. For example, when something comes up in his attempts to gain a start in higher education, he allows that little road block to stop him. He’s old enough that I shouldn’t have to be ‘leading him by the hand,’ but he’s not taking the incentive. Like the fact that he could have been working for the last nearly 2 years, but refuses to even try to get a job that entails working with food & other decent jobs won’t hire minors (like Wal-Mart & the new Home Depot in Hilo). He turns 18 next month, so missed getting into Home Depot when the new store opened just yesterday to the public.

Why do guys always have the mentality that “the grass is always greener on the other side,” then learn the truth after much heartache & devastation? Why can’t they listen to those who’ve ‘been there, done that?’

Anyway, I also had another appointment on Tuesday with the VA rheumatologist. Recently, I tore a ligament or whatever on the outside of my left hip. It was so bad that for about a week, any movement felt as though I was reinjuring it. I couldn’t even raise that arm without a sharp burning pain on my hip! I ended up taking my leftover oxycodone from my last surgery just so I could move (one per day). All I did to injure the hip was step off to turn while walking inside of my house.

While I was talking to the rheumatologist, I mentioned something I had read on MayoClinic.com about ankylosing spondylitis. I was browsing their site about different types of arthritis & this one struck a chord with me, because one of the symptoms is the lower spine fusing itself (grows together on its own).

After getting out of the Navy, I remained in Norfolk, VA, for a few months, because I could hardly move. I had sciatica so bad I could hardly stand or walk. I was treated in the Navy for this as though it were a ‘hysterical’ pain… in other words, bullshit. I went to the VA outpatient clinic in Hampton Roads, VA, for more pain medicine, because I had run out. I had been taking 800mg ibuprofen 4 x daily, which barely touched my pain. The doc I saw looked at the same X-ray that my ship’s doc (an osteopath) had looked at (telling me nothing was wrong with my spine) & told me that my L-5 was fused to my sacrum! It’s the classic symptom of ankylosing spondylitis! And no doctor has made the connection! I DID!

When I mentioned this suspicion to the VA rheumatologist, I could see a light bulb going off in her face! She said it could explain the pains & swelling in my hands & feet. It’s also leading her in another direction as far as treatment for my arthritis. Another thing she mentioned… she served her internship at Rochester, MN’s Mayo Clinic! I told her that’s one of my primary online medical reference resources (I also used WebMD.com). She’s talking now about putting me on a sulfa drug, sulfasalazine, along with an opiate as a painkiller (the ibuprofen screws up my acid reflux/heartburn, barely touches my pain when it peaks & loses its effectiveness quickly). Obviously, if I still had an opiate (oxycodone) left after major surgery (my hysterectomy/oophorectomy in 2002), I’m not one to be concerned about abusing narcotics. I have no desire to be hooked on any meds! I don’t even like the fact that I’m taking an anti-depressant (which, by the way, doesn’t work for me; I only take it because it repells mosquitos!) & will likely have to in some form for the rest of my life.

She still wants me to retry the hydroxycloroquine, which I believe caused my hands & feet to break out in a rash/hives. So, after the holidays, I’ll try it again & if the rash starts, I’ll go to the clinic to show the nurse who works under the rheumatologist, not the one who claimed it was contact dermatitis. I did tell the rheumatologist about the herbal cox-2 inhibitor I had taken, but also stopped at the time the rash developed. And told her her I had started taking MSM, which is sulfer. She had noted that my swelling was less & told me to keep doing whatever I was doing, because it seems to be working. I thought perhaps my herbal tea had something to do with that as well, since I had made a gallon of it last week. I haven’t made more, so haven’t had any recently. I forgot about having added willow bark (the basis for asprin) which doesn’t have the ‘side’-effects of OTC asprin, which is synthetic. Willow bark is analgesic, meaning it reduces swelling & the ensuing pain from swelling. It was used by Native Americans hundreds, if not thousands of years ago.

She also wants me to have a new lower spine X-ray (she couldn’t find the Hampton Roads one’s report). I’m waiting for the nurse, who was busy at the time with a telemed conference, to write the referral. Ordinarily, I’d have gotten that paper right away & gone straight over to the radiologist. Now, it’ll mean another trip sometime this month into Hilo, to the clinic to pick up that paper & back down the hill to radiology & another long wait until someone decides to call me with the results or wait until I see the rheumatologist again in 2-4 months. *SIGH*

Please don’t miss my previous blog for today. Once you read it, you’ll see why.

Heads up people! There’s an email going around that is a devastating hoax! It’s getting so bad that our local CBS news channel had the gall to include it in last night’s 6:00 PM news as fact!

Not only did I email the newscasters that their story was a hoax, I called them & did get to speak with the reporter, Jade Moon, who spread the story. To me, this story was extremely devastating & just as bad… NO, WORSE!… than what Dan Rather did that caused him to submit an early retirement from CBS national broadcasting!

Here’s the email I sent to KGMB Honolulu, in its entirety:

Aloha-

 

I briefly caught your news story about the holiday email virus. Please note that the origins of that scare is a hoax! I am including the body of the email that has been spread for approximately 4 years & the source of the site that lists it as a hoax, as well as what I replied to a friend who forwarded me the virus warning email.

 

*******************************************************************

 

Subject: Virus to look out for

WORST VIRUS EVER —CNN ANNOUNCED ~


PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST!!!

A new virus has just been discovered that has been classified by Microsoft
as the most destructive ever

This virus was discovered yesterday afternoon by McAfee and no vaccine has
yet been developed. This virus simply destroys Sector Zero from the hard
disk, where vital information for its functioning are stored.

This virus acts in the following manner:


It sends itself automatically to all contacts on your list with the title

“A Card for You”.

As soon as the supposed virtual card is opened the computer
freezes so that the user has to reboot. When the ctrl+alt+delkeys or the
reset button are pressed, the virus destroys Sector Zero, thus permanently
destroying the hard disk. Yesterday in just a few hours this virus caused
panic in New York, according to news broadcast by CNN. This alert was
received by an employee of Microsoft itself.

So don’t open any mails with subject: “A Virtual Card for You.”
As soon as you get the mail, delete it!!! Even if you know the sender !!!

Please pass this mail to all of your friends.

Forward this to everyone in your address book. I’m sure most people, like
myself,
would rather receive this notice 25 times than not at all.

     I hope you all have a healthy and peaceful holiday season. Don.

 

******************************************************

 

Online myth-busters site (highly reliable):  www.snopes.com.

Page with the information about this hoax:  http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/card.htm

 

Origins:   The “Virtual Card for You” hoax (now often circulated simply as a “A Card for You”) has been making the rounds since at least 2000, with occasional changes along the way. No such (incurable) virus ever existed, was identified by McAfee, was reported on by CNN, or “caused panic in New York.”

Additional information:  

	Virtual Card for You (Symantec Security Response)
	A Virtual Card For You Hoax (McAfee Virus Information Library)

Last updated:   19 March 2002

 

*******************************************************************

 

My reply to the friend:

 

Thanks for the warning, but this is unjustified. I was a bit suspicious, so first checked the McAfee site for current threats. It wasn’t listed, nor did a search for a ”sector zero virus” turn up anything. I first became suspicious because no name for the virus was given. Next step was to do a search on www.snopes.com for this same description. Voila! http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/card.htm

 

This is a holiday destructive hoax! It causes people to discard emails from their loved ones meant solely to spread good will during some people’s bleak holiday times. This is a horrible email in my opinion!

 

It’s amazing how stuff like this ever gets started…. the maliciousness involved is as bad as an actual computer virus. And that it continues to be distributed over & over again?!

 

If you’d like to learn more about Internet & email hoaxes, I suggest you spend time, as I have, going through Snopes.com’s site & learn about the other hoaxes this couple who run the site have already confronted. There are some hilarious ones too. 

 

********************************************************************

 

For a news agency to not check into the truth behind a story… I’m ashamed of you guys! You have done basically the same thing as Dan Rather, presenting a story without verification. Please, like I have informed my friends when they’ve forwarded on email hoaxes, check the facts first! I have checked the anti-virus sites. None such virus exists!

 

Mahalo–

–Myrene

I often look to Snopes.com for answers & tidbits. Getting forwarded emails that promote myths is extremely annoying, like the latest one I got from my DAV chapter’s commander. This one told people not to open “A Virtual Card for You,” even from people you know, because it could contain an extremely harmful virus, which would destroy Sector Zero of one’s hard drive. Not only is this email a blatant lie, but it is just as destructive as an actual virus because it dashes the hopes of people who look forward to a bit of good cheer from distant friends & relatives. I found the myth clearly defined on Snopes.com:  http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/card.htm

I emailed my commander back, giving him the link & politely (I hope) telling him to be sure to check the facts before forwarding on stuff of this nature. I told him what about the email brought about my suspicions (the lack of a name for the virus) & my steps of discovery (I went to the AV site, McAfee, that the email said was the source of the information of the virus, then to Snopes.com). I haven’t heard back from him. I only hope he emailed everyone he forwarded the email to about the error.

As always, when I find a myth on Snopes.com through this manner, I end up browsing their site for other tidbits. This time, I set off into their holidays link, going through the myths, legends & truths surrounding the Christmas holiday. This true one was too funny not to share:  http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/pants.asp

Claim:  For twenty-five years, two brothers-in-law traded the same pair of gift pants back and forth between them, each time finding more inventive ways to wrap them.

Status:   True.

Origins:  The one present Roy Collette wasn’t looking forward to getting for Christmas 1988 was those damned pants. Yet he knew he was in trouble as soon as the flatbed truck bearing a concrete-filled tank off a truck used to deliver ready-mix rolled up. Sure as God made little green apples, those pants had to be in there. And he was going to have to fish them out, else declare his brother-in-law the winner of a rivalry that had spanned 20 years.

Being the sport he is, brother-in-law Larry Kunkel thoughtfully supplied the services of a crane to hoist the concrete-filled tank off the flatbed.

What’s this game, you ask? What was the significance of these pants, and why were two grown men going to such efforts year after year to retrieve them, only to send them off again?

It all began in 1964 when Larry Kunkel’s mom gave him a pair of moleskin pants. After wearing them a few times, he found they froze stiff in Minnesota winters and thus wouldn’t do. That next Christmas, he wrapped the garment in pretty paper and presented it to his brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law Roy Collette discovered he didn’t want them either. He bided his time until the Christmas after, then packaged them up and gave them back to Kunkel. This yearly exchange proceeded amicably until one year Collette twisted the pants tightly and stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide pipe.

And so the game began. Year after year, as the pants were shuffled back and forth, the brothers strove to make unwrapping them more difficult, perhaps in the hope of ending the tradition. In retaliation for the pipe, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the “bale” to Collette. Not to be outdone, Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel.

The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever. As the game evolved, so did the rules. Only “legal and moral” methods of wrapping were permitted. Wrapping expenses were kept to a minimum with only junk parts used.

Kunkel next had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette.

Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can, which he soldered shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas.

Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette’s name on the side. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who was the plant manager for Viracon’s outlet in Bensenville.

The pants next turned up in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a 1974 Gremlin. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment.

In 1982 Kunkel faced the problem of retrieving the pants from a tire 8 feet high and 2 feet wide and filled with 6,000 pounds of concrete. On the outside Collette had written, “Have a Goodyear.”

In 1983 the pants came back to Collette in a 17.5-foot red rocket ship filled with concrete and weighing 6 tons. Five feet in diameter, with pipes 6 inches in diameter outside running the length of the ship and a launching pad attached to its bottom, the rocket sported a picture of the pants fluttering atop it. Inside the rocket were 15 concrete-filled canisters, one of which housed the pants.

Collette’s revenge for the rocket ship was delivered to Kunkel in the form of a 4-ton Rubik’s Cube in 1985. The cube was made of concrete that had been baked in a kiln and covered with 2,000 board feet of lumber.

Kunkel “solved the cube,” and for 1986 gift-giving repackaged the pants into a station wagon filled with 170 steel generators all welded together. Because the pants have to be retrieved undamaged, Collette was faced with carefully taking apart each component.

What happened to the pants in 1987 is a mystery, and their 1988 packaging (concrete-filled tank) was mentioned at the beginning of this page. Sadly, 1989′s packaging scheme brought the demise of the much-abused garment.

Collette was inspired to encase the pantaloons in 10,000 pounds of jagged glass that he would then deposit in Kunkel’s front yard. “It would have been a great one – really messy,” Kunkel ruefully admitted. The pants were shipped to a friend in Tennessee who managed a glass manufacturing company. While molten glass was being poured over the insulated container that held them, an oversized chunk fractured, transforming the pants into a pile of ashes.

The ashes were deposited into a brass urn and delivered to Kunkel along with this epitaph:

Sorry, Old Man Here lies the Pants. . . An attempt to cast the pants in glass brought about the demise of the pants at last.

The urn now graces the fireplace mantel in Kunkel’s home.

I was wrong this time.

We had enough in the door prizes to go around once to everyone there. Not as many showed up as we thought were going to. The Commander decided to give a whole bag full of football Beanie Baby bears to a young boy instead of giving each out (it would have taken a long time, since there were about 20 or more in the bag). Last year we also had some of these. I got a John Elway Beanie then.

I had to take my son to Keaau High School early morning to take the ACT test for college (although he’s talking about taking a year off before starting college… more on that later).  The testing finished about 11:30 so when he called, I excused myself from the meeting to go get him & bring him. He was pissed, thinking I’d just drop him off in town to skateboard. I made him come to the party, since I had already paid for his lunch. I don’t get many chances to show him off, & always have to make him come. So we both got tickets for the door prizes.

Out of the 2 tickets, we ended up with 3 prizes, including $50 cash (this was the main thing I was hoping for, since we have had a very tight summer with my son running up excessive phone bills, both on the cell phone & the house phone through text messaging & long-distance calls to his girlfriend in Colorado when her cell phone got taken away by her mom for the same problem (ran over the shared plan minutes & too many text messages). They think 10¢ each, but don’t realize just how many they use. Cell phone companies make a killing off kids! My son took the cash. More on that later.

The Adjutant’s son was also there, with his girlfriend. From my earlier talk with the Adjutant, her son’s girlfriend mirrors my son’s girlfriend in Colorado. Both are Mormons. Both have definite goals for after graduation from high school. Penny’s son also has his goals/priorities set for college, unlike my son’s wishy-washy ones.

I’ve fought with my son about the importance of a college education. He seems to think that he can take a year off after high school, maybe working & doing his skateboarding. He’s done searches on the Internet about housing, asking me if $650/mo was a good price for an apartment. What he doesn’t get is that those prices don’t include utilities & how much that would take of any income he might get from a job, since it’s very difficult to get a decent-paying job with no experience & only a high school diploma. At that price, earning minimum wage (which hasn’t been increased in over 10 years!), he’d have virtually nothing left to eat on, much less to buy his equipment. By the time he pays for rent, electricity, gas (heating), phone (including his cell phone), cable, Internet access & transportation, he’ll have spent around $1,000. At minimum wage, even at fulltime, that would put him in the hole about $100 & he hasn’t bought any food yet! And a good part of his income will be taken away in taxes & co-pay for insurance! Minimum wage only garners about $910/month.

I’ve tried to get him to help with a video production at his high school that’s still looking for help. He just doesn’t get how this will help him build a name for himself, He only sees that it would require time away from his yakking on the phone or skateboarding or playing games. I’ve even learned that one of my DAV chapter’s members is directly involved with this production & has a video studio right here in Pahoa! I’m positive if he sees what my son already has put together with his friends (they made a skateboarding video, which he’s actually recorded to DVD!), Del would be very impressed with his videography talents & help nurture his skills.

I’ve been harping at him for nearly 3 years about getting a job. He refuses to work with food, so the only other things out there are jobs who don’t hire minors. Wal-Mart here doesn’t hire under 18. Nor does the new Home Depot, scheduled to open this month. He turns 18 next month, so he missed the initial hiring. He sneers whenever I mention anything like McDonald’s, local grocers, Pizza Hut, or anything like them. He just doesn’t get that as a male, with good work ethic, these places advance them quickly, to positions that earn double minimum wage. Incidentally, Hawaii has their own minimum wage… $1 more than Federal.. These places also work around kids’ schedules with school & extracurricular activities.

My son has also had the opportunity to get into a program called “Running Start” for college. He can be taking core required classes right now! We had him all set up to go for this Fall semester, then he tells me he can’t because his GPA is too low & he hasn’t taken the SATs or ACTs. Shoot… some of his friends have been doing this for 2 years (Junior & Senior)! I’ve also talked to him about Federal PELL Grants. He would need to apply right away when the applications become available (next month) just to be able to attend next Fall. They run out of money fast! Also, from what I learned when I went to college, the best thing to do is to start college in the summer. It gives a head’s up on the semester hours required to retain the grant & also gives a person an easy introduction into college life. Even though the classes meet more frequently & the schedule is more intense, there are 2 summer semesters with which a person can take up to 6 semester hours each, which count toward the minimum of 12 hours for each of the normal semesters as a fulltime student. It’s extremely difficult to manage 12 SHs, work & have any kind of life while maintaining decent grades. Although I didn’t work fulltime (I had a newspaper motor route at one point & worked for the campus newspaper at another), I did have a kid to raise while I finished my 4-year degree. If I had read everything I was supposed to, I’d have been doing almost nothing else outside of class & writing term papers (I’m a slow reader)! My course load during the long semesters was only 9 hours, because I started in the summer, taking classes during both sessions & continued for each summer instead of ‘taking a break.’ That break is a waste of time, as far as I was concerned.

As for my kid snatching the $50 prize I won… He decided that it was his ticket that won it. Not only that, for this month’s bills, I used $50 he still owed me because of some online expenses that got charged to his debit account, which would have caused my payment to the phone company on money he still owed to cause his account to overdraw. I transferred money from mine to cover it. These were things he subscribed to that were set up to automatically debit when they expired & he’s done very little to get them to stop. I hate stuff set up like this! McAfee AV program was one of these! I had an issue with one similar to this with BuzMe.com, for my dialup voicemail service. They ignored my initial email asking how to discontinue the service when my subscription ran out & debited my checking account. I flew a nasty email back to them that the charge was not authorized & unless they credited my account back, I was going to pursue their actions. They had no means of canceling on their site, nor did they have a toll-free phone number to contact. Also, their phone number listed with the phone company was the one for people to use to set up the Internet answering machine, not to cancel it. The other services my son got hit with auto debiting were IGN.com & GameSpy.com.

I don’t know if it’s intentional, but he can’t seem to remember our conversation regarding this $50 correctly. He whined about not having spending money for his trip to Colorado over the Winter break, so I told him I’d either transfer $50 back into his account to cover him buying the gift for his girlfriend, or pay for the gift, but that meant he was back to owing me $50. He seems to think now that I was forgiving his debt to me. Uh uh! No way! He’s got to get it into his head now that he needs to learn how to manage his money, including not getting into situations where he gets scammed, which is what I consider Internet services who auto-debit. I also don’t set up any of my bills to automatically pay out of my checking account. That gets very dangerous financially! I told him that his taking that $50 & also paying for the game for his girlfriend & him not paying me back means the gift isn’t coming from him, but me! He thinks he only owes me the original $50. There went my prize!

He has to repay his girlfriend’s mom half of his airline ticket to Colorado ($400). He has told her he’ll pay $200 next month & $100 each for the next 2 months. This leaves little to pay for his cell phone, his ‘normal’ spending habits, or to repay me. Kids nowadays! I never had it as good as he does, even though we’ve lived in poverty nearly his entire life! I wish he’d learn how to be frugal, instead of having to buy branded (skateboarding) clothes, etc. It isn’t that I haven’t been teaching him, but he just doesn’t get how much of a senseless waste it is. If a person can actually afford the pricey stuff, more power to them! We just can’t. A nice home is more important to me & is something we don’t have yet. Here’s a link to what I’d like to build, once I can afford it: http://multi-facettedhomes.com/2-story.htm

Someday…

I was in a rotten mood last blog entry. I didn’t say anything about it then, but another of our kitties got hit by a car that night. I’m saying something now because that kitty’s brother just got killed, in almost the same spot.

I’m tired of listening to cars fly down the road in front of my house. As I’ve mentioned before, their eyes are very visible for the 3 roads from the top of the next hill to my house. Yet, these cars are pouring on the gas as they reach my home, downhill, going between 45-60 mph by the time they reach the area in front of my house. It is obvious to me that they are intentionally trying to hit my cats!

The one on Monday was an SUV with mud tires. The one tonight was probably something like a Honda. I have good ears, even with the noise of tinnitus that’s always there. My son doesn’t hear the impacts, but I always do & charge out of the house just as fast as I can, hoping to see the vehicle that has taken one of my family. Most of the time, they’re going so fast that they’re out of sight by the time I get to the road.

The cat hit on Monday had no name. I had left that to my son, since she slept with him. She has to be the first cat we’ve had in many years who’s preferred dogging my son than me. He never named her. She was a pretty long-haired grey cream with a sweet disposition. Her brother, the one hit tonight, was another matter. He was long-haired as well, but orange in color with pretty copper eyes. He was a scamp, lately either attacking the other boys or being attacked by my fixed boys. He & his sister would play together almost constantly, until he got his hormones running.

On Monday, my son was on the phone when his kitty got hit. I kept waiting for him to hang up, so I could ask the PD what can be done about these speeding vehicles. I didn’t call them then, but I did tonight. The dispatcher was pleasant with me, saying she was sorry about what happened & said she’d send a patrol unit out to check the area. I really think these assholes are druggies, who come into the area to buy drugs from a house below me that many know about. I hope they shut them down quickly! Two kitties killed by speeding cars in less than a week is outrageous! Both hit so hard their backs were completely severed. We’ve lost 5 this year.

It’s that time of the year for me… nothing goes right. Tomorrow’s my DAV chapter’s Christmas party. With the way our Adjutant insisted the door prize giveaway to go, I’ll probably end up with nothing, since everyone attending will be getting a ticket. I’ve gotten very little in the past ($5 gift certificate at a local cafe one year, when I’ve gone for 3) when others had gotten much more. Bah, humbug! I really don’t feel like going now.