December 14, 2003

• Aloha all~~

  
  

       Yesterday was my DAV chapter's Christmas party. I almost didn't go. I'm one who no longer can appreciate the Holidays... ANY of them. They just validate how alone I am. But I am on the Phoning Committee for my chapter... one of the ones who call others up to remind them of the upcoming meeting & asking them if they plan to stay for lunch, to get 'head counts.' How bad would it be if I didn't show up? Funny thing is, 2 didn't show (one who's said she quit the committee whom the powers just don't accept her resignation).

  
  

       For this meeting & party, we were asked to bring a canned food item... I forgot mine! I had planned to bring a can of Spam, with the special 'Hawaii Only' wrapper. As one who's been on both sides of Food Bank distribution, I know how valued canned meat is to the recipients. More often than not, the items divvied out are things the donor wouldn't eat themselves, like cans that are dented & may cause botulism poisoning, or those beginning to rust, also possible spoiled contents. Other things given by these so-called 'wonderful people' are items that are cheap... things they wouldn't buy for themselves. A can of Spam is like gold to a recipient! My forgetting my donation is like a kick in the teeth to me!

  
  

       I dressed up for this affair in a pretty blue muu-muu... after having gone through several others of my recently purchased long dresses, finding either previously unnoticed stains or holes from bugs in very noticable places. The muu was designed weird... it binds when reaching forward, pinching my arms, feeling like I had put it on backwards.

  
  

       I couldn't get my son to go with me. I told him I'd be alone. He said what about my friends there? What friends?

  
  

       Once there, I prepared to pay for my lunch. The former commander's wife told me no, that those in a special board for a memorial project don't pay. I tried to get it understood, but she pushed me on. I wasn't on that board. Later, once seated, she came up explaining her error, so I went back to pay for my lunch.

  
  

       This former commander is one who seeks recognition for things he doesn't do, but others work hard at. He is also our chapter's Service Officer, supposedly helping members (& others) get their disability rating increased. He's done NOTHING for mine! I sent him a zipped file, which he months later, when I confronted him one-on-one, informed me he didn't know how to open! It had all the information about the hassles I've been through with the VA & details about my disabilities & how they affect my life. Basically, this entire blog. His wife informed me, about a year later, that her husband only knows how to read emails & a few other minor things with computers & she doesn't want him learning how to do more... he's too old. I told her there were MANY people on the Internet even older than them both! She wouldn't hear it.

  
  

       Those he has 'helped' have mostly done their paperwork themselves, or had the help of another (former chapter Service Officer) in filing what needs to be. This man does virtually NOTHING, yet claims all the credit! Our chapter has even awarded him a plaque for recruiting the most new members. I know for a fact that alot of those new members (myself included) were recruited by someone who belongs to another chapter! All he did was put his name on the card, as chapter commander. Others do all the 'leg work' & one-on-one recruiting.

  
  

       This man had the gaul to mail to all the chapter members raffle tickets for a benefit drawing for that memorial he's on the board trying to get built. Or rather, his wife did. No one-on-one soliciting of funds. And who paid for all that postage & envelopes? Certainly NOT him! It came out of the funds for that project! What a waste of precious monies!

  
  

       There are many members of our chapter who refuse to come to our meetings because of this man. Comically, he spoke up at the close of yesterday's meeting, about the death of a member. Comically, I say, because the information had just been put out by our Senior Vice Commander not 5 minutes before. Was the former commander listening to the information being presented at the meeting? NOPE! And it couldn't be because he couldn't hear it either, because his table was right up front, only 10 feet from the speaker.

  
  

       But about me... I sat near the back at a table with the widow of a former member & a friend of hers. Also at our table was the Adjutant, taking the minutes of the meeting. Another table companion was the former commander of the local Purple Heart chapter, who was supposed to be joined by his wife (she never showed).

  
  

       When I had first come into the meeting room & had taken care of money stuff, turning to find a table, I heard "What, are you ignoring me?" I turned back to see our commander. He gave me a half-hug, then brought up the possibility of my becoming Adjutant next term. I started to say that I'm the type who 'rocks the boat,' such as I just recently did with something I learned about the VFW in my subdivsion & what I did at my last 'gainful employment.' Does he really want me? But the conversation got interrupted with someone who had something to discuss with the commander & he never got back to me.

  
  

       I had picked up on those vibes from the commander previously toward me. At least there's one who understands my intentions when I do rock the boat. It reminds me of when I was in Boot Camp & got asked to replace the Company's Master-At-Arms by our Company Commanders. They had apparently overheard my suggestion to the then MAA about aligning the bunks to the 'centerboard' (middle of the room) & she chose to instead align them to the 'bulkhead' (outer walls). We failed our barracks inspection because of the mis-sized racks (bunks), which looked 'kakio" (all zig-zagged) when the inspectors came into the barracks & looked like shit!

  
  

       I turned them down. I told them what made them think they'd listen to me as MAA when they didn't before? I also didn't want the responsiblity that went along with the position, with any screw-up in the future causing me to get 'set back' like the former MAA, having to spend another 2 weeks in Boot, in another company. Of course, I knew I was also giving up possible perks, like an added stripe & the 'bennies' in my record. I just know that people don't listen to me...

  
  

       Why? Is it the 'dumb blonde' ideation? Is it being female? What is it that causes people to discard valuable suggestions made only with the best intentions, based upon observations culminating in what would work best for all involved? One thing's for sure, I can't be bought, nor do I knuckle-in to power-grubbers. Call it one of my disabilities, because it causes me deep stress & any hope of friendship.

  
  

       Anyway, there was good & bad in my going. I did 'win' some neat gifts, although none of the ones that I truly wished for, like $25 gift certificates, nor any of the 'big' prizes, which included a $250 digital camera, which I would have given to my son. I'm a Virgo... which means 'practical.' Give me something that I can use & appreciate. I participated in the 'bring one, take one' gift-giving. I gave a Hawaii photo frame, which had dolphins, coral, fish, etc. Really pretty! A Wal-Mart purchase for about $5. What I got, missing seeing when everyone else hurried & grabbed the first picks, left a choice of only 2 things, was a 'Home Interiors' scented candle... 'Baked Apple Pie.' Bah! Actually, I had taken the other gift, which was a one-use 35mm camera. Me, with an expensive digital... that was worthless to me... I don't like paying for developing (I have stuff from my 35mm camera STILL undeveloped from years ago!). Turns out the gift I left remaining was what the one who hadn't already chosen something brought. Sadder yet, the former Purple Heart chapter commander didn't get anything! Someone STOLE a few gifts! A pox on those who stole! Bah, humbug! All he said was that whoever took what was meant for him must have needed it more than he.

  
  

       After the meeting was called to a close, the Senior Vice demanded attention as he tried to read a poem. A group at the back wasn't paying attention, with one person in particular talking loudly... the Phone Committee Chairperson. I called back his name to get him to be quiet & the Senior Vice called his name out again. Here's what the SV read, which had tears rolling down my cheeks, because the person in the poem could just as well be me:

  
  

   

  
  

  
  

  'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
  
  
  'Twas The Night Before Christmas, he lived all alone,
  In a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
  
  I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
  And to see just who in this home did live.
  
  I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
  No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
  
  No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
  On the wall hung pictures of far distant Lands.
  
  With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
  A sober thought came through my mind.
  
  For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
  I found the home of a soldier once I could see clearly.
  
  The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
  Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
  
  The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
  Not how I pictured a United States soldier.
  
  Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
  Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?
  
  I realized the families that I saw this night,
  Owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.
  
  Soon round the world the children would play,
  and grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.
  
  They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
  Because of the soldiers like the one lying here.
  
  I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
  On a cold Christmas eve in a land far from home.
  
  The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
  I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
  
  The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
  "Santa don't cry, this life is my choice;
  
  I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
  My life is my God, my Country, my Corps."
  
  The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
  I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
  
  I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
  and we both shivered from the cold night's chill.
  
  I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night,
  This guardian of honor so willing to fight.
  
  Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure
  Whispered, "Carry on Santa, It's Christmas Day, All is Secure."
  
  One look at my watch, and I knew he was right.
  "Merry Christmas My Friend, and To All a Good Night."
  
  
  
  *******************************************************

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan.
  The following is his request. It is a reasonable request.....
  
  PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending
  this to as many people as you can? Christmas will
  be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S.
  service men and women for our being able to
  celebrate these festivities.
  
  Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of
  what we owe. Make people stop and think of our
  heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves
  for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small
  seed.
  
  Courtesy: Frank Detkowski
  

  • 6:00 pm
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